When it first hit me, I thought I was simply distraught about the circumstances in my life. No job, no happiness. Made sense to me. However, even when I was making good progress, my mind continued to stay in a very dark place. Smiling became a luxury and waking up everyday became unbearable. My friends were with me, but I became highly anxious and had difficulty making eye contact with them. My stories had no train of thought. It was exhausting to be awake. The only thing I looked forward to was sleeping.