Gray

It isn’t black or white, 
It never really was.
So many of us,
So little of you,
A mixed combination
Fade to gray.

How are you coping?
I have to wonder what you were hoping for after all.
I was the material at the top,
 giving you that transition that you never expected.
You spoke so many worthless words, no remorse. 
Its a long way to the bottom.
I told you not to fall.
I wasn’t going to catch you
No hand extended,
Just pain.
Just a gray sky filled with rain.
You were not my wonderall.

Just flex your imaginary power.
The cool kids left the park without you.
All alone with your thoughts and your 360s.
I wonder how that feels.
Have you seen your darkest hour, yet?
Or did you forget what you did to the hearts of the people who loved you.
It’s hard to know what love is when you only love yourself.
Has the ink dried yet?
Did you put your agenda on the shelf, 
Next to the Thrasher magazine and the history of who you used to be.
I wonder.
Is it still all gray in your world,
or are those little blue pills still the only color you see.

I let you break me for a short while,
And then I found my own self worth again.
For a brief moment in time I let you get under my skin.
Not anymore,now I just laugh about it.
It isn’t gray around here anymore,
I’ve seen better days,
But I’ve also seen worse.
The sunshine is so fucking bright without you around.
Misery is beautiful right before our eyes, 
 sometimes we just have to slide back into the gray, 
know the danger from the thrlls.
Sometimes we have to decipher the blessing from the curse.
Just rely on your coping skills.

Gray is not my favorite color but it always reminds me of you.

A. Granheim Photography 2018