Lucky White Bitch

That is apparently me ~

I was called a lucky white bitch tonight. It isn’t the first time I have been called a bitch. It isn’t the first time I guess that I have been considered lucky, I get it, I am priveleged to be able to live this life that I do, but it is the first time I have ever been called all three words together.

Lucky White Bitch. Why did she say that to me? I am not sure honestly. We were walking out of Barnes and Noble, getting into our vehicle and she was putting her child in the car seat in the back. I was polite, I stood at the back of my vehicle until she was comfortably done, until her door was shut, and I said excuse me to her as I walked past her. And that is when she said it. Lucky White Bitch.

I capitalize it because it is a title. That was the title that she gave to me. I will not state her race here because it wasn’t important. This is not about race to me, it is about a woman who was probably overwhelmed, stressed out with her kids, her shopping, her errands, her day. I don’t know what made her say it. I don’t walk in her shoes.

I get it. I understand. I have those days too. Except when I have those days my stress is different. I stress about making sure that I get the dogs outside again before 10:00 am. My husband brings them out at 6:00 am before he goes to work. I stress about what kind of coffee he put in the coffee maker for me and did he remember to use bottled water. I stress about having to be dressed and out of my pajamas by 3 pm so that the Amazon Prime delivery person isn’t shocked into not wanting to deliver anymore if I am not dressed appropriately. I am stressed about a couple of loads of laundry every other day. Do I have to fold them? I guess.

I work from home most days, and I have a few different jobs, none of them too harsh. I am an artist, a writer, a photographer. I do not need to answer to a boss, I do not need to get ready for work most days, I do not even need to get into a car. I gave my car up when it was totaled a few months back. I decided I didn’t really want to drive in Los Angeles that often and when I needed to I would just get a rental. That is stressful, right?

My husband doesn’t like me to take the bus, so I never taken it in Los Angeles. I have never been on the train here either. It isn’t safe. So, I stress about needing to run errands too late into the night. The truth is I have a ride whenever I need it once he gets home. My biggest worry is how long do I have to be away from home. I don’t carry groceries in, I am not allowed to lift anything heavy. Seriously, he doesn’t let me carry anyting that weighs more than 5 pounds unless I am firm about it. He is chivalrous to a fault.

Lucky White Bitch. Today I had to choose between Blackberry Soda and Fire OG medication as I airbrushed. Today I had to pick out a graphic design tablet to go with my new Macbook that he brought me home. Today I didn’t do the dishes because I was too busy trying to figure out Lightbook. He took me to Barnes and Noble after work to get a new Photoshop for Idiots CC book. I called myself a idiot and told him I needed a book. He laughed about it and called me beautiful and smart. She called me a Lucky White Bitch.

She was probably the most right out of all of us.