I don’t know about you, but I LOVE Global Running Day. I celebrate it every year in exactly the same way: I run around the globe!
Yes, it’s true, every June 7th I made a special point of running around the whole entire world. You can too if you are as fast, as smart and as physically fit as me, ANDY LAM!
The very first time I did it I took the easy route. I had my bush pilot meet me in Nome, Alaska to fly me way, way, way up north to the tip top of the world. When we saw the red and white striped post at the North Pole I told her to park the plane and that I wouldn’t be long. I stretched a piece of tape from the North Pole to a stake I carefully pounded into the snow and ice. “Ready?” I said. “Ready!” I answered and set off running.
It took me only a few second to go around the North Pole and break through the tape at the finish line! I had done it! I had run around the whole world. I felt so marvelously exhilarated that I swore right there and then that I would do it again the following year.
The next year I did — but this time I decided to try a little harder and so set my route a few degrees south of the North Pole. The tape had to be stretched pretty far (a mile from the pole I think it was) but I still made it! I was truly a world class world runner. I was probably the only MAN ALIVE who had ever run around the whole world. I was a star!
Years went by and each year I went a little further south. My legs kept getting bigger and stronger from all that running and I was getting faster and faster. I was running so fast that when I ran through the snow and ice it just melted away like it was butter beneath the hot knives of my pumping legs! “Faster, Andy, Faster!” I shouted to myself and faster and faster I went!
The year I set out from the Compound while it was still dark and had my pilot fly me to my starting point. My route this year took me across Missouri, Illinois, Kentucky, West Virginia, Virginia, across the Atlantic Ocean (I have special shoes that make it a real snap to run across the water!), over to the Azores (so I could get a glass of water to drink because even though I was running on water you can’t drink the water from the ocean unless you are a fish or a whale or another kind of sea creature), across Portugal and into Spain; I zipped across the Balearic Sea to Sardinia and then across the Tyrrhenian Sea to Italy; I zoomed across the Adriatic Sea and into Albania. It was pretty mountainy there but fun! So was Macedonia. I was not even half way around the world but was feeling good and making great time! I scooted across Bulgaria and across the Black Sea — which wasn’t actually black, go figure! I got a little distracted in Georgia when I was in the planned Samegrelo National Park, it’s really coming along nicely! I raced across a tiny piece of Russia and over the Caspian Sea. I went across a sliver of Kazakhstan then turn a little south at that point because I wanted to run across the rest of the ‘Stans too: I trotted through Turkmenistan, raced across Uzbekistan, tore across Tajikistan and then into Kyrgyzstan (I was especially excited to see this place where vowels are so rare, they say they are as precious as gold and I believe it!). Next I whistled across Western China, where I stopped briefly in Rouqiang for a slice of cool and refreshing watermelon. Passing just south of Beijing I was still making great time! What a day! When I crossed the Yellow Sea I realized I might be in big trouble if I got caught running across North Korea so I ran super fast and no one even saw me! Next I ran across the Sea of Japan and across that wonderful island nation! My biggest challenge lay before me, as I now needed to cross the broad North Pacific Ocean. Before I started I stopped to tie my shoes on extra tight. Looking across the wide blue expanse of ocean facing me I took a deep deep breath and was off again! I made it to Oregon in no time flat! I was in the home stretch now flying as fast as my feet could carry my over Idaho, through Wyoming (those Rocky Mountains are something!) and then down, down, down into Nebraska and back to Missouri! I raced through the finish line! I had done it again, I ran around the whole world!
I stopped my watch — 4:37:25! That has to be a new record for running around the whole world! I was fist pumping like a madman! Another Global Running Day in the books and I was definitely the best runner ever! I had a big gulp of water and ran around the finish area with my hands over my head! The crowd that had seen me off earlier were in rapture! They were screaming and crying and laughing and cheering and singing and dancing and clapping and jumping and hugging and yelling and were so happy! I was happy too — I still am happy! How could I not be happy! I love running around the whole wide world!
With a few thousand miles under my belt and no blisters to speak of, I am . . .
ANDY LAM!
