Inner Workings of a Dorky Mind

Dear alarm clock, I know I respect you in the night when I set you but I would love to throw you out in the morning. Dear self-created playlist, you get me. I don’t know how but you get me every time, you complete genius! Dear cupboard, I would love it if you could organize yourself, maybe iron out those wrinkles in my clothes, in my life even. Oh while you’re at it, could you toss out my outfit for today because that would be great! No? Too much? Sigh. Dear oatmeal, I would love to love you but I think it’s time for us to end it. It’s not you, it’s me.

Dear phone, I charged you! I need you to work. Don’t hang up on me! I spend a lot of time looking at your face. I especially like it when you light up just for me.

Dear bestie, I LOVE YOU FOREVER AND ALWAYS!

Dear ladies who look at me weirdly in the local train, RIGHT BACK ATCHA! Dear autowalla who spit on the road, bura mano, aaj Holi nahi hai! Dear mannequin wearing the super-priced dress, don’t think I don’t know about the clip behind you, cinching the dress to your waist making it look that good! Dear fairness ads, get outta my face, preferably outta this society as well.

Dear YouTube, thank you for being so patient and letting me replay that funny video for the hundredth time. Dear Instagram, your Mayfair filter is amaze! Dear Snapchat, it doesn’t bother me that I feel too old to use you. Although it is now bothering me to know why I’m not bothered. Bah, vicious circle.

Dear Ellen DeGeneres, please please please please never change. Maybe one day, I’ll be half as cool as you. Dear excessively charming actor in the movie, I have reserved a big goofy grin and tomato bright blush especially for you.

Dear ice cream, you’re always there, aren’t you? You beautiful thing! Dear pyjamas, maybe I’ll petition to have you registered as formal wear. Think about it, designer jammies, casual jammies, chic jammies, couture jammies, runway jammies, jammies jammies! :D

Dear charming guy in the queue, you have a great smile. There’s a reason I forgot to say thank you when you courteously moved aside to let me go ahead. It’s called “brain refusing to co-operate when you need it to sound smart.” Yeah, that’s a real thing. Go look it up if you don’t believe me.

Dear book on my nightstand, you are my visa into another person’s mind. Who knew magic was part of my bookshelf? Dear TV show, I feel like singing John Legend’s ‘All of Me’ for you. Then you’ll know what a dork I am. But you know you love me, XOXO…you know the drill.

Dear bed, pillow and blanket, where did you learn to hug like that? Dear alarm clock, I know this is my second letter to you and you’re saying 3 AM right now. So dear mind, it’s time to sleep for a bit. Come on, be a dear!

Love,

The Dork.

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