10 Gentle DOMINATION Techniques

Sometimes your woman wants to be dominated in bed.


I said it.

Most guys can sense when their woman is getting bored of vanilla sex. (Hint: you’re likely getting bored with it, too.)

You can feel it in your gut: that’s what she craves. Maybe the two of you have talked about experimenting with power-play. Maybe she’s come right out and said it: I just want you to take me in bed. Maybe you’re not 100% sure and are feeling nervous about crossing the line. And maybe you just don’t know where the line is…


I’m going to give you 10 ways to step into “dominate-her” mode.

Use a gentle, firm touch and she will submit to your ministrations and feel the full-flowering effect that power-play has on her feminine nature.


Don’t bring out a blindfold straightaway or throw her over your knee and give her a good spanking. (Unless, that is, you’ve had a detailed discussion about it and agreed to experiment, in which case, my advice is: go for it!)

What you need to know most is that power-play is not about pain; it’s about the full expression of masculine energy that turns both of you on.

So how do you achieve that? What is the best way to begin?

My recommendation is simple: start small.

Make her what I like to call “small offers,” i.e. invitations to play just a wee bit beyond her comfort zone. You can openly make her an offer by saying, “I’d like to try something new,” or simply try a new move.

Then pay attention to her response at a physical level.

In other words: listen to the animal of her body.

Next, you want to establish a feedback loop by giving her permission to tell you what she wants.

You’d be surprised how difficult it is for a woman to put words to what she is feeling, what’s working for her and what’s not, what she’d like you to do more, harder, faster, or slower… you know the score.

The feedback loop makes it safe for her to ask for what she wants.

How ever you play it, at some point you need to bust a move.

I’m going to roll these out in order of intensity so you can see how “small offers” that give her a chance to say “Yes!” can escalate her arousal and lead to bigger leaps into new sexual terrain.


  1. Tell her how much her body turns you on. Be very specific and look her right in the eyes. Eye contact shows her you are confident and present.
  2. Move her body for her. Be strong, and yet gentle. Again, start small. Pull her toward you or roll her over. It’s best not to pick her up and carry her to the bed if you haven’t done that since your wedding day.
  3. Weave your fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck and squeeze with light pressure. If she moans, increase the pressure a wee bit at a time.
  4. Assume the role of “big daddy.” Verbally appreciate her for being sexy. When you feel her begin to submit, say “Good girl.” Use your deepest, sexiest voice. Rather than chirp “good girl,” elongate “goooood…girrrrrl,” with a guttural growl. (It doesn’t hurt to practice.)
  5. When you’re on top of her, pin her hands above her head as you kiss her.
  6. Tell her how sexy she looks and give her a spank. Start with one quick one. You can put her over your knee later.
  7. Put your hand on her throat. Use very gentle pressure. Your grip should not be strong enough to hold her down and certainly not so strong as to block her airway. You want your grip to say “I’m going to have my way with you, and you’re going to love it,” not, “I’m going to have my way with you whether you like it or not.”
  8. Tell her you’d like to blindfold her so she can focus completely on feeling the sensations you’re delivering. You might incorporate a few sex toys such as a feather, fur mit, or vibrator.
  9. With or without the blindfold, tie her wrists to the bed while you give her oral pleasure. She may well get so aroused that she begs you to fuck her.
  10. Depending on how much she’s been able to submit to the above power-plays, you might tie her arms and legs to the bed. If she’s been game for mostly everything thus far, you can do this without even asking. The element of surprise can be a major turn-on.

As you gain experience with your partner, you will begin to know exactly how to get her more and more turned on.

Whatever the power-play, keep your focus on escalating her arousal bit by breathless bit.


Let her know you’re in charge and you’re the one running the plan. She will be able to surrender more completely if you set up the feedback loop ahead of time. Trust is the solid ground that makes power play so exciting and allows you to escalate her arousal bit by breathless bit.

Susan “Suzinatrix” Bratton is a sexpert who specializes in Polarity: the sexual magnetism that draws men and women together. Listen to her free sultry audio recording that shows men how to evoke their woman’s femininity, “Polarity.”