Am I enough?
Am I deserving?
Am I worth it?
3 questions I have most definitely struggled with for almost an entire lifetime. 3 questions that create doubt in my self worth which typically drives me to overworking, striving for perfection or overcompensating in one way or another. Continuously striving to prove myself more and more everyday, to who? Everyone else but myself. The 1 lesson I have been really working hard on for the last 11 months continuously is acceptance of who I am, seeing and believing that I am enough. With acceptance comes the Practice of letting go of others expectations (or what I think others expect of me). Or simply, trying to go with the flow rather than trying to control it.
I am only grateful for the ebbs and flows this life challenges me with. Although when you’re in it, it’s hard to see past the moment of struggle just to keep your head above water, however today, as I reflect back on an incredible journey which this year has offered, I can only sit here with a grin on my face and a deep sense of accomplishment.
A feeling of success that only the deepest self development work I consistently practiced and persevered through could grant me, all so I can be the best version of myself to be the best leader to you.
As I stand with my feet in the river, I am reminded of the flow of life. The laws of nature in which we have no control over. I am reminded of the constant change that occurs around me by simply observing the river. I am reminded of the need to be accepting of the changes in temperature as uncomfortable as they might get, respect the strength of the currents, prepare for the fast scary rapids and embrace the calm areas of the river when you get there. We cannot stop the flow of the river, nature will do what it needs to and we simply need to be ready for whatever ride we end up taking. Remembering to recognize when you’re through the hard and scary rapids, and learn to celebrate how you came out on the other side. Stronger, wiser, and more willing to embrace the experiences ahead. Good, or bad. I am learning to trust the flow, to trust the process, to trust that I am exactly where I should be.
If you are like me and have any one or all three of the questions around worth and being enough come up, I hope you too can arrive at a place of acceptance and can learn to one day at a time go more with the flow. To believe you are enough. To let go of what others expect of you and find peace with your own expectations of yourself. Remember it is a daily practice that requires hard work, preserving, consistency and a lot of patience.
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Mahalo for now!