So I know my notes are all over the place and I hope you can read them and they make sense. So I guess in this comment I’ll just respond to a few of the prompt questions.

2) I like the overall flow of the essay, reading it flowed very well. Some closing sentences were a tad long but I commented on those and gave suggestions.

3) I’m not really understanding this question, but I would say that I think your thesis does feature a strong CRRP thesis statement.

4) Prompt: “ Identify the genre, genre features, and genre conventions applicable to Doctorow’s For the Win. Then write an argument in which you explain the relationship of this text to its genre, and what implications can be drawn from that relationship and the rhetorical work Doctorow undertakes with this novel.”

I think you addressed the genre (young adult) the genre features (current world issues) and genre conventions (communicate with young adults). Your arguments was good on how it relates (Big Sis Nor with her perserverance, the beginning paragraph opened up the potential of the younger generations, and the connections that the novel makes between the vitural world and real world with the adult/teen relationships). I think you did a great job answering it.

5) Both your quotes are perfect, they tie in dashingly and you do not over quote the book.

6)This comment is supposed to be at the top, but I’m a rebel. The question I have were pretty much written in the margins as I read along. (Sorry)

GLOW statement 1: I liked you essay because you make great points and you understood exactly what you needed to support your claim and how you related that with Doctorow’s rhetorical work was superb.

GLOW statement 2: I would say to focus on making sure your tenses align, such as don’t start a sentence in past tense and end it with statements in the present tense, also, perhaps cutting some of the longer sentences in two. But your points are solid!(:

I hope I was of some help. Good luck with your revisions!

-Jenna