I like some of your points a lot! I think that the most important thing to understand is that the every successful relationship starts with yourself.
Many people think that the other person is supposed to fix them and help them. Whenever anything unpleasant comes up, we blame the other person, we insist them to help us (now!), or we withdraw.
If the other person inspires us to change for a better then it’s great. But they aren’t here for us to take any of our old baggage. It belongs to us and we’re the only one’s who can heal it.
Taking responsibility for yourself also means taking responsibility for your moodiness, patterns, fears, and any limiting beliefs.
The relationship is to help us grow thus a lot of insecurities come to the surface but we’re the once to deal with them.
So the best way is to become your own best friend and be there for yourself when you need yourself the most (when you don’t feel good).