The First Match: Swiping Right
The First Month: Part II of IV
The direction in which you drag your finger along the screen of your phone can now be the simple first step to a lifetime of happiness. No pressure, hahaha! Just in case you haven’t heard yet, Tinder has been invented and everyone is doing it. Similar to that old internet sensation Hot or Not, this phone app is primarily based on how photogenic you are. User friendly and free, this app attempts to communicate the essence of a human in 6 photos and 180 characters, with the added perk of offering some basic info shared from Facebook. With minimal investment and an addictive game-like feel, it’s no wonder that all my single friends seem to be signing up. And all my coupled friends seem obsessed with helping in the swiping process. Using snap-judgment you sift through a pile of local people, sorting the Hot ones to the right and the Not ones to the left. The hope, of course, is that you like them, and they like you, and then
BAM “It’s a Match!”
It took 7 months for the two single ladies next door to persuade me to sign up for Tinder. Putting my own insecurities and heartbreak aside for a moment, it was the app itself that I didn’t feel ready for. I had been under the impression that it was just for hooking up. A place that the young crazy kids were flocking to in search of booty calls. Having been out of the dating world for so many years, I wasn’t interested in going straight for the booty. No, actually, what I think I’m looking for is a good old fashioned Long Term Relationship. So I did what I always do when faced with uncertainty: I did some research and asked around. It turns out that Tinder is really whatever you want it to be. If you’re searching for a quick fix or a LTR, or anything in between, you’ll find people who are searching for the same thing. In the modern world where walking up to strangers feels weird and meeting someone “organically” seems harder and harder, Tinder’s co-founder Sean Rad’s offers up a tool, “No matter who you are, you feel more comfortable approaching somebody if you know they want you to approach them,” [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tinder_(app)].
Reading about Tinder did seem to make it feel less intimidating, but it was talking about it with my friends that really pushed me toward it. The cute couple living in my complex met on Tinder and there is already an engagement ring on her finger. And the blond girls living next door have dates as often as they want, swapping stories as they giggle over all the good and all of the awkward moments. My tipping point may have been when one of closest friends said, “Trust me. You’re going to absolutely love it!” without a single bit of doubt in her voice. Truth be told, I have been boy crazy since my first day of preschool, so a whole slew of boys at my finger tips, from the comfort of my own home, is a really fun idea.
During a night involving wine, in the company of my neighbors, I finally downloaded the app to my phone. But even by hiding behind my phone, I was still extremely nervous anticipating what might happen if I risked swiping right. I sat with it for days, only swiping left through my options. If I came across someone who looked even remotely interesting, I would just close out the app instead of committing to swiping. But then unexpectedly, one day as I sat at my work table and reached for my phone, a face appeared on the Tinder screen. He’s everything that I’m looking for. Ridiculously good looking. Intelligent bio. An interest in photography and entrepreneurship. Sealing the deal by giving my home state of New Mexico an honorable mention. Plus we have Facebook Friends in common. I clearly had no choice but to swipe right. I inhaled a deep breath and dragged my finger across the screen. The image instantly changed, and with the same enthusiasm as leveling up in a game, Tinder happily announced “It’s a Match! You Liked Each Other.” The screen now presented two options: Send Message or Keep Swiping. Feeling flustered I ran down my stairs and across our porch into the ladies’ living room. “I got a match!” I announced, and they cheered with encouragement. An important step had been made. “Now what do I do??” I asked trying not to feel too anxious. My phone was passed from one blond to the other, “Oh! Well, look who it is?!” one of the girls giggled recognizing the little face on the screen. “I totally made out with him back in high school! Hahaha! He’s really hot, and he definitely knows it!” Her voice quieting to a whisper as if he might hear, “But he has a tiny penis.” Those 6 little words worked magic, relieving my nervousness as I was instantly reminded that this game’s characters are actually real humans! Full of their own histories and insecurities. Armed with this new realization, and with my first match under my belt, I finally feel ready to freely swipe to the right. Maybe my first date shouldn’t be my neighbor’s sloppy seconds, but he was definitely the perfect First Match. This game is about to get good… __________________________________________________________________Liked what you just read? This is part of a series called Men & Meals: One Woman’s Feast. I’ve challenged myself to 100 dates in a year, and I invite you to Follow along!
