Proper Ladies Don’t Give TED Talks
Kitty Pechet’s story of transformation, Part 2
If you haven’t read the first installation of Kitty’s story, you can find it here.
In my previous blog, I wrote about growing up in a box. The box defined what I was allowed to do and say, and though it might have been invisible to others, it felt like a prison cell to me. Eventually, though, I shifted from looking powerful to being powerful — and that’s what I want to talk about today. My transformation happened on a very unlikely journey — the experience of translating my life into my very own TEDx talk.
Early one morning in the summer of 2015, my email alert dinged. It was an invitation from a group called TEDxBeaconStreet, asking me to give a talk about my life.
It seemed so unlikely to me that anyone would want to hear this story that I sat on the invitation for days. Finally, I responded, saying there must have been some mistake.
The response came back: “No, we want you.”
Everything within me balked. What could I possibly say that would be of consequence?
“We want you to talk about how you changed your life in your fifties by getting on a surfboard,” came the reply from founder John Werner.
“I don’t know how to do this, or if I can.”
“We will help you.”
I sat with the excitement, fear, and creative possibility this request inspired in me. I shared it with friends and family, hesitant to take such a public step on my own.
“You can’t do this,” some of my children protectively advised. “Here’s why…”
But sitting there, pondering, I felt myself pushing aside the bars of limitation and opening to the light of possibility. So what if I crashed? Who would care? So I booked my ticket to adventure.
The next morning, I called them back. “I will do it, or at least try,” I told them.
Questions roiled: Could someone without a voice, who spoke through paint, really talk? Was my message about culture, community, health, or joy? How could I quiet all the inner voices suddenly clamoring to be heard?
Something about the TEDx environment was, if I am perfectly honest, unique within my lifetime. What was it that made the difference?
They saw a version of me I had not ever fully seen or taken ownership for in myself. I was received as part of a group, though I had always felt alone. You can do it, was the attitude. We are with you. We’ll help. I had lived a life of privilege with lots of advantages and amenities. But it was also a life of playing second fiddle, conforming, and standing in the background — downplaying whatever accomplishments I had managed to achieve.
I feared the team might become frustrated with me, but my fears could not have been farther from the truth. The team was there at every turn, offering suggestions, encouragement, and assistance. When I went off on a tangent during a practice session, several “Speaker Catalysts” convened in the next room to help me re-direct the text.
The presentation started to come together. “Put your photos in a PowerPoint,” they suggested. I confessed that I didn’t know how. “Oh, we’ll do it for you,” came the reply.
My own personal Speaker Catalyst, Laurent Adamowicz, stayed up all night to put that PowerPoint together for me, creating a visual to anchor me to the story arc as I struggled in this unfamiliar medium. For months, Laurent sat by my side and helped me re-write, review, and rehearse my text. I was deeply touched and surprised by the enormity of giving.
All of this was so new that the impact of it was only just barely beginning to dawn on me as I stood backstage on the fateful day of the conference, preparing to step out onto the red dot and give my talk. Would it work? Would I be able to do it? Even up until the last second before I stepped out onto the stage, I simply was not sure…
To read the story of Kitty’s step onto the TEDxBeaconStreet stage, click here!
