August is Women’s Month in South Africa. To celebrate, we’re conducting long-form interviews with 20 women who have spoken at TEDxJohannesburg. Inspired by Huffington Post’s Sophia project, we’re asking them to share stories and advice about topics that are central to a well-lived life.

What is a recent realisation you have had about living a more rewarding/fulfilling life?

I am incredibly lucky. I am surrounded by family and friends and have something of value to offer in my world. Being useful is such a privilege.

Tell us something about an area of your expertise that took you years to learn.

Being right isn’t as important as being open to learning from each new experience. If things were easy, they’d have been fixed a long time ago. The things we grapple with each day are difficult and complex — and nobody can achieve them alone. So learning to listen, to hear, to collaborate, to expect set-backs and support each other through the tough times is at least as important has having great ideas about how to do things.

He’s taught me to be less definite, to think about inter-dependencies rather than to make linear connections

Innovation most often isn’t about having some mind-blowing idea that changes the world, it’s about grinding through the learnings together, and finding the logic for change.

What do you feel is the most helpful thing your parents did for you that many parents don’t do?

They let me go off into the world to explore.

Tell us about a book (or books) that had a significant impact on you.

James Garbarino’s Lost Boys — and many other things he’s written and said, have a great influence on me and my work. He makes the logical links between early childhood experiences and adult outcomes and he expects things to be complex, offers no magic “best practices”. He’s taught me to be less definite, to think about inter-dependencies rather than to make linear connections between what we think we know and what we expect as the impact of our interventions.

I also love Brian Glazer’s book A Curious Mind: The Secret to a Bigger Life. It has prompted me to encourage everyone I work with to see ourselves as on a massive, wonderful learning curve, like a big wave that can grow as big as we allow it to be, and the bigger it gets, the further we can see, the more we can achieve. Being inquisitive, asking questions are such important tools.

What is something small or seemingly insignificant that contributes greatly to your happiness?

My garden. We have a totally indigenous garden at home and it provides me with great peace and enjoyment. I am amazed by its resilience and also by the predictability of seasonal changes, the way it comes alive at the beginning of spring, is crazy and entangled by the end of summer, takes time to breathe and revitalise in winter.

If you have a sore tooth and you aren’t a dentist, don’t dig in it yourself, find a dentist.

I love the birds that nest there — and the way our cats regard it as their personal jungle, I am sure that we all have different fantasies, find different comforts in it.

Tell us about a memorable gift you’ve given or received.

Probably the greatest gift is that my daughter has come to work with me. I never expected it, nor anticipated what joy there is in it. She breathes new life into our work, bringing perspectives that I don’t and innovates in exciting ways. She also brings skills and her own brand of energy.

What is a regret you have that others could learn from?

I regret that I spent years trying to be something that I wasn’t — instead of recognising my strengths and playing to those, I tried to be better at the things I’m not good at. I had an amazing, liberating moment in discussion with someone I worked with, after years of being uncomfortable in a particular job. He gave me a middle-of-the-road kind of evaluation and I said, “I’d give me a fabulous score, or a terrible one, but I don’t understand how I get an average score” and he said “you’re fabulous at many things, but not the things I’m measuring you on”. It was such a great insight. I left the job, did some serious introspection and now, I do the things I’m good at and rely on others to do the things I’m not good at. If you have a sore tooth and you aren’t a dentist, don’t dig in it yourself, find a dentist.

Tell us about a travel experience or destination that you would recommend to others.

I love our National Parks more than anywhere. Sometimes when I’m at my desk and lost for inspiration, I go to the SANPARKS website and plan a break or just look at the webcams.

I love to cycle, there’s something very Zen about watching the front wheel spin.

I love Kruger in the summer for the heat and the bird life and the night sounds round the fire, Tankwa Karoo for the amazing silence and the flowers in spring, Karoo National Park for the sunset and moonrise over the hills, Table Mountain Park for the extraordinary views across Cape Town and the sense of achievement when you reach the top and the Kgalagadi for the closeness of the roar or a lion in the middle of the night in an unfenced camp…. We are so lucky in South Africa to have these treasures that as so accessible.

What habits/routines do you keep that are especially unique or beneficial?

I don’t think my habits and routines are unique in any way, but I try to practice mindfulness and gratitude and to be physically active. I love to cycle, there’s something very Zen about watching the front wheel spin. I love to feel strong.

What apps (or other technologies) have the greatest impact on your happiness/personal fulfillment?

I’m very connected to the world through social media such as Twitter and Instagram — I’m not sure if they impact my happiness and personal fulfilment but they keep me informed and entertained.

I think in South Africa we are often closer to death than we might be elsewhere.

We work with a web-based tool that supports our Social Transformation System; this obviously adds value to our work.

How would you have handled your own education differently?

I dropped out of University without completing an under-graduate degree. I probably wouldn’t do that again! It took me a couple of decades to get back to my education and I think it made my journey harder but in other ways, it was very useful to be older when I studied. I was very focused.

What do you know now about living a satisfying life that you didn’t know when you were twenty?

I know that work isn’t a burden, it’s a privilege. I know that being useful is the greatest privilege. I know that life isn’t a popularity contest.

What do you think about when you think about death?

I think death is a part of everything, yet I fear it at times, and I love life — mine and others. I try to face my fears — so that they don’t restrict my life. Sometimes that’s more difficult than other times. But just because somethings’s hard doesn’t mean its not worth trying. I think in South Africa we are often closer to death than we might be elsewhere. So we have to learn to live with it.