When Dreams Become Nightmares
How the first female RAF Officer in Afghanistan became a victim of the unescapable nightmare that war implants within our heroes.
In 1991, a young woman with no qualifications joined the Royal Air Force. Michelle Partington did not know what she wanted to do, but through her tough childhood, she had to turn to the RAF.
However, it turns out that from living in such a harsh environment, attributes that the RAF require such as discipline had come naturally to Michelle.
Standards hadn’t been a problem because when you have had to cut the lawn edges with scissors, you learn very quickly about perfection.
It was not long before Michelle was excelling in her trade, reaching the rank of Sergeant soon after. In a complete overhaul in the life she had as a child, Michelle was now respected, liked and — more importantly — began to believe in herself.
I decided to go for Paramedic training, daring to dream I could pass it…
… and she did. Beginning her first operation tour as a Paramedic in Afghanistan, Michelle was the first female to deploy with the RAF there.
Despite the continuous noise of ‘you are not good enough’ in the back of her head, Michelle decided to overcome her fears and go for Officer Selection. In September 2010, she was commissioned as an Officer of the RAF.
However, Michelle’s dream career some became a nightmare.
Running of the back of the helicopter to pick up the wounded… dark hollow eyes drained of another life I couldn’t save.
From panic attacks every time she left her home, flashbacks, nightmares; Michelle was entrapped in a prison within her own mind. However, Michelle is no ordinary human. Through inexplicable courage and drive, Michelle started a plan to overcome her nightmares.
Sometimes it does pay off to put others first.
Whilst beginning to escape her nightmares, Michelle recognised a gap in the support services that would have helped her sooner. In 2015, Michelle set up a Mental Health Foundation providing free online peer support for PTSD sufferers.
Invictus gave me back my belief in myself.
Michelle returned to motivating herself to push for more. After completing Invictus, a BBC Presenter asked
What do you mean you don’t know where you finished?
I’ve got no idea where I came and I don’t care. I hit a personal best and I did it.
After telling the #TEDxWhitehallWomen audience her story, Michelle had impacted them all far more than she could ever imagine.
Michelle defines the bravery that all of us can unleash within us.
However, it is Michelle’s constant drive to achieve more that truly makes her one of the most courageous and impressive individuals within the United Kingdom.
Written by ACG for TEDxWhitehallWomen.
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