ART OF FORGIVENESS…LET IT GO!!!
“The words of the Buddha offer this truth: ∼ Hatred never ceases by hatred but by love alone is healed.”
My name is Michael James David Reyes Bond, I get most of my name from my father,a man i despised, hated if i must. I was 5 years old living a child's life,for the last time i could ever remember being one. I remember being at my grandmothers house, his mother and fathers home playing in the bath tub with my new toys so excited so alive. I proceeded to remove my self from the restroom straight to my bedroom to put my jams on,to play with this little red foam baseball with a blue ball that my uncle had bought me,forgetting to clean the floor through pure enjoyment of my toys. At the time my grandfather was very sick, i recall a hospital bed in the living room from what i remember,his med’s where in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I still have nightmares every once in a while of my grandmother screaming at me to clean the water off the floor, so that he could take his medicine. I ignored it continuously playing with my toys laughing giggling for the last time as a child. ‘a loud bang in the distance’ i heard a faint scream, i ran out of my room to my grandfather lying on the bathroom floor, blood every where. He slipped and cracked his head on the bathroom toilet and was rushed to the emergency room,where he died a few hours later. That day my grandmother and father disowned their only son and grandson. I saw them both 2 years later, my mother was working a late shift at UMC hospital in Tucson AZ, when she ran into my uncle after 2 years. He was there because my grandmother was dying from what the doctors said was a broken heart. She had 2 days maybe 3 left to live and my uncle wanted me to see her and say my last goodbyes. I headed down to the hospital with a aunt of mine to visit her and say goodbye and that i was sorry for losing her husband. A child of 7 years old apologizing for something he did not understand. Then my father showed up or at least i thought he was my father, the moment he saw me he lost his mind screaming and yelling devil child devil child you took my parents from me. He battled with my mother and aunt exchanging negative energy between the 3 of them and all i could do was stand there,frozen in fear of this man with devil eyes while he screamed at me blaming me for the death of his parents. Imagine being 7 years old growing up thinking you took the life of my fathers parents. It was crucial,painful and utterly destroyed my child hood from that day on i was never the same and never saw my father or uncle again, and for many years i blamed my self for everything. I believed i was this destructive human being and it was the reason most my family and friends distanced me.
Understanding years later that the burden i lived with of being this fucked up child was never who i truly was. I blamed myself of ruining my fathers life and blamed every one along the way. Life was never getting easier for me the story continues but my point of this story is…… I NEEDED TO FORGIVE MYSELF MY FATHER AND EVERYONE I BLAMED FOR WHAT HAPPENED IN MY LIFE. If i wanted to continue a life with no pain self blame or hatred towards myself and surroundings i needed to figure something out and fast before i lost my self and life completely.
GRIND TIME!!!!!I grew the fuck up sucked up my pain and self pity and all doubt and blame and found my purpose in life through meditation,yoga,and helping others. There has never been a pleasure more sweet and fulfilling then making other humans happy and completing life together as we all grow through the hardships and downfalls together. Life is hard but if you do not learn to forgive yourself and others you will never learn how to love who you truly are or love others for who they truly are just humans trying to figure out life together. Life is hard but it gets easier once you learn to let go of what no longer serves you and to allow yourself to be free and happy. You deserve to be happy and free of all pain and remember whats happened to you by the hands of others is never your fault or has nothing to do with who you are.
My past does not define who i am, who i have been or who i will be. I will continue to make the best impact i can on any life in this world.Forget what hurt you but never forget what it taught you. …
- If you want to fly in the sky, you need to leave the earth.