Stop pretending & make the difference between dreams and goals.
The sentence I chose as title for this article sums up everything I learned in the past few years. I often read articles about how to be successful and rich, how to have the best life ever, how to…
I’m not going to teach you anything. The story I’m writing, you already know it or you will, very soon.
I used to say I wanted to become this or that, I wanted to live there, etc. I used to making wishes and to blame it on the lack of money, lack of opportunity, lack of everything that had nothing to do with my own will… or did it?
A few years ago, I went for the first time to a place I called “home” within a few days. Then, due to some bad luck, as I used to say, I had to go back to my home country. I never really liked living in my home country and I’ve been talking about living abroad for as long as I can remember.
I kept saying during the years that followed my return that I wanted to go back, but couldn’t. It was too expensive, too complicated, etc. During two years, I kept repeating the same words “I wish I could, I wish I could”. As if it was a dream, not a real life goal.
Indeed, when you have a life goal, instead of “wishing you could”, you want it and you organise your life so that you can actually do or get it.
If it’s just a wish, you keep talking about it but never actually make the steps towards it. As I saw one day on the wild web: “If you really want it, you’ll do/get it. If not, you’ll find excuses.”.
It took me two months to get an opportunity and another month to make it real. So, after two years of wishing and dreaming, it took me three months to “go for it”, to reach my goal. How do I explain it? Very easy: though I kept saying I wanted to go there, to move abroad for good this time, I wasn’t ready to do it… yet. Once I felt ready (between two anxiety attacks, it wasn’t all positive, trust me), I made the right decisions and went for it. The only thing is, I didn’t know I wasn’t ready until I was ready. Life has a few weird tricks like this, I guess.
Once you realise this difference between dreams and life goals, you will feel much better. Life is never easy, sometimes you actually lack of money, for instance. But there is always a way if it’s a real life goal. You might have to sacrifice a few things like comfort and a good salary (that’s my case). You might have to review all your priorities and make major changes in your life (my case as well). But in the end, you will reach your goal and you will be happy, trust me.
Unless your goal is to be with someone you love, of course… You can’t force people to love you back. But you can work on your own feelings to keep them close enough and to show not the best of you, but the most honest parts of you. Honesty prevails, always. With others and with yourself.
Stop pretending. Start acting. Your life is worth it.