Self-denial, Fantasy or Reality

Somehow, our whole educational system, which includes family, society and schools, is negligent in teaching us on how to see life objectively, on appreciating the beauty of things as they are, on seeing what it is and call it by its own name without any prejudice, dogma or fear. Perhaps they try it, but their methods are so weak, or arrogant, that students don’t develop a clear understanding of its advantages. As a consequence, more often than not most people run away from reality either by denying its factuality or by fantasizing about it. There is nothing wrong with these two cognitions for they are valid states of consciousness, however, it imposes a tremendous limitation to our growth, maturity and refinement because whenever we choose any one of those paths, we are missing a unique opportunity that life has given to us to excel or improve in very specific areas of our being. For instance, if a person loses a job, or the partner asks for a divorce, or the kids are not doing alright at school, or there is an economic crisis, or a beloved one is really sick, or you are unequivocally deceived and so on and so forth in so many undesirable, unexpected and unfavorable situations that can happen at any moment. Whenever any of these types of situations happen, the inner alarm system goes off abruptly informing the person that something really bad has taken place and, instead having a strong rebooting mechanism, most people have a shutdown feature that routes them to escape from that situation and, this escapism is manifested either through denial or fantasy. In other words, one behaves as if the phenomenon is not happening by ignoring its existence or one goes around imagining a better and sweeter scenario by dreaming about it. Meanwhile, they are not looking at things as they are and, as a consequence, missing the opportunity for facing, tackling and changing whatever is happening in their lives. In addition, it is relevant to be aware of the fact that these escapisms only happen while facing painful, dreary or opposing situations, but never when things are going our way, when life seems to be showering its most magnificent gifts on us because when favorable, inspiring and loving circumstances happen we tend to forget even our miseries and relish on the joyful moment because we were educated to behave in that way, i.e. when we did good at home, or at school, we were uplifted and celebrated for our achievements whereas we were reprimanded, or scolded, whenever we didn’t do what was expected from us. Thus, we began our journey of denial or fantasy. (Tadany — 22 08 19)

How to cite this Text:
Cargnin dos Santos, Tadany. Self-denial, Fantasy or Reality. www.tadany.org ®

#life #behavior #psychology #sociology #education #family #tadany#reality #fantasy #selfdenial

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Tadany Cargnin dos Santos
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