“Be Nice”
At the end of an unconscious bias workshop, a participant made the declaration, “It’s all about being nice. Just be nice, people!” While the rallying cry of, “be nice,” is energizing, I believe it has a limiting effect on our potential to understand each other.
When raising toddlers, parents and teachers are urged to avoid labeling the child, or the child’s behavior as “naughty” or “nice.” Instead, they are encouraged to help the child see the consequence of their actions. No child is innately “bad” or “good,” instead, the consequence of their behaviors is what is perceived as “bad” or “good.” To help children independently navigate social engagements in the future, it becomes imperative to teach children to evaluate the results of their behaviors on their own.
Everyone has unconscious bias. Evolutionary speaking, our judgments about the world is what keeps us safe. We have become so evolved that 99.99999% of our processing about the people and circumstances around us is unconscious. Because of these biases we often fall short of objective understanding. This reality is not “good” or “bad,” it’s human.
When we unknowingly engage in non-inclusive or biased behaviors, it’s not because we are not “nice” or “kind.” It is because we have not realized how our biases have limited our perspective and how our behaviors have impacted others. If we can have dialogue around these uncomfortable areas we will find deeper understanding and forgiveness in each other for our human shortcomings.

