Why Pride Matters
Last weekend I attended the Pride event in Tupelo, MS.
Yes THAT Tupelo.
It was a bright sunny cool day, the first cool weather of the fall, and everyone was in a fantastic mood. Several hundred attendees in all for what was an altogether family-friendly and inoffensive gathering. There was most of the things you might expect, corporate sponsor tents, representatives from the ACLU and HRC among others a smattering of drag queens and a live stage with constant music. But there was this one person who caught my eye. I’ve considered all week whether I should speak of her for fear that my observations might be taken the wrong way, as an exercise in stereotypical assumptions. But I’ve decide that even if I’m wrong in some details the impression I got was one that surely represents uncounted people at Pride events everywhere and every year.
She was as tall as I, and not at all overweight as I am. casually dressed in jeans and a lose flannel shirt with smart makeup, and here’s the trait that caught my eye, hair that was self evidently just now grown long enough to wear natural in a feminine style. Now as I say, I could be wrong, but I don’t think I am. I’ll wager it was her first Pride event, or any occasion in which her trans status was central to the event rather than something you hope no one picks up on. And she was beaming. Her wife(?) was at her side and both of them were somewhat more sunny than the weather. I wish I’d felt comfortable enough to ask her name, to make a friend, but I’ve got a hangup with approaching someone I’ve not met and lead with anything that effectively says “since I can see you are trans..” It seems like an affront.
The reason I found it so striking is that it was an illustration of how hard it can be to be openly comfortable and happy being trans, in public, in Mississippi. This isn’t just paranoia. The next day there was, as one might expect, a small news story about the day on the site, and the Facebook page, associated with the local TV station and as with any Facebook post, a comment thread. And as with any trans related thread under any story on any media Facebook page, the hundreds of comments that followed were an overwhelming cesspool of hateful bile. Oh sure, I and some others tried to talk sense but post after post was “Sick” or “perverted” or “They need Jesus.” Oh, did Imention that virtually every hateful remark was posted by someone who presented themselves as a believing Christian? I know you’re shocked.
Consider, here’s an event where peaceful people had a peaceful day just simply enjoying each other’s company and the brief, largely illusory, occasion to be seen and recognized in a crowd where literally no one disrespects them. No cost to the city, no untoward activity, no advocacy for the overthrow of the Trump government (out loud) — just people having a good time. Yet the “good” and “moral” people simply could not stand it. They had literally no objective reason to even express an opinion but they felt constitutionally compelled to be hateful anyway. This is how deep and irrationally the anti-trans bigotry has been indoctrinated into these churches. This is the world we, at least in the “red” parts of our country that can’t quite distinguish between Trump and God himself.
One of the common exchanges in the discussion was “Why?” Why does there need to be an LGBT Pride even? How come we can’t have Straight Pride or White Pride? There’s this utter unwillingness to recognize that THEY create the culture that makes Pride necessary. Over and over they insist that they really don’t care if your gay or whatever, but why do you have to be so public about it — which is something you only object to if, in point of fact, you DO care. They most certainly care. It manifests in everything they say on the subject, every vote they cast, and all that together creates a culture of latent fear and intimidation, even when it’s not so in your face. A world where the “acceptable” gays are the humble ones, the ones who never resist the dominant culture, preferably being a bit apologetic for bothering everyone with their gayness. But if you dare to expect them to accept your presence as an equal, to give you a job when you apply or treat your illness without hesitation or whatever — well then you’re just being pushy and you need to be reminded of your place. That you’re “sick” and “perverted” and “need Jesus” — just, you know, out of love.
A couple of days we got another clear example of what that sort of “love” looks like. Pickens County, GA School District, in compliance with a recent court of appeals decision, revised their school policies to be trans inclusive and the “good” and “moral” local folks showed the depths of their love. By persistently threatening to kill everyone involved. Ultimately the district, which has several trans students, had to back down because they had no immediate way to protect everyone from BEING KILLED by bigots who’ve been radicalized into a deep irrational hatred of trans people.
Don’t comfort yourself with the idea that cooler heads were shocked and appalled. Quite the contrary! Try and visit the comment thread on Facebook for THIS story and there’s open cheering that they won a great moral victory.
By threatening to kill people.
Just local yokels though surely, right? Nope. Pharisee leaders celebrated the victory, good luck finding any conservative evangelical news site with any quote at all condemning the intimidation tactics. They WANT us living in fear, ashamed, outcast. As long as they do, Pride matters. Especially in the places where it’s unwelcome by the majority.
