She Loves Me Through My Anxiety

There I was, laying on the floor of her apartment, feeling the anxious thoughts take over.

I wasn’t crying. I wasn’t freaking out externally. I was simply laying there, quieter than my usual self. My silence and calm demeanor was a dead give-away, as I usually have the energy and sense of humor of a fourth grader.

She calmly walked over, got down on the ground with me, and tried to figure out what was wrong. After brushing it off, I let down my guard a little and let her know I was struggling. And she loved me through it.

My girlfriend knows of my anxiety issues, so this was not surprising news to her. However, even though she knows I struggle, she continues to fight with me and for me through it.

This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes by one of my favorite pastors Tim Keller:

“To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.”

She showed me the gospel through loving me. She wanted to know what was going on, but also show that she will love me in the midst of it. What a blessing that is to know.

This type of love is messy. It endures through the problems of life, even when they are not resolved in a 90-minute story plot. It acknowledges our weaknesses, but affirms compassion.

If you struggle with anxiety, many others do as well. Even if you are not religious, I would invite you to ask Jesus to help you through your problems. He is kind, loving and compassionate.

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