I resigned from my amazing job without an offer in hand.
My 2017 didn’t start at a high note — (1) I had no job, (2) I didn’t have a routine to keep me busy, and (3) I had to restrict my social circle so I didn’t have to explain (1) and (2) to people who didn’t give a damn otherwise.
I had made myself uncomfortable. Very very uncomfortable. And choicely so.
I resigned from my job. Without an offer in hand.
To those who don’t know Wingify, it’s sort of a dream job destination in India. You work with brilliant people, in a flexible schedule, with complete ownership, and best of perks.
Coming back to the topic, to start off, I was part of the leadership group at Wingify, youngest in that group, and am the only one in the organization who came as a fresher three years ago and 2 years hence, I was heading a product that opened the second revenue stream for the organization. So it was the best position one could be at.
This, however, came at an expense. I didn’t have a manager or a mentor, I was reporting to the CEO. One and half years ago, when I started managing PushCrew, I was absolutely new to the field of product management and I had no one to learn from. I didn’t have a mentor at work and I was hugely missing the peer learning that I strongly believed I needed at this age & time of my career. I don’t even have a schooling in management, or marketing, or building products, and no prior experience whatsoever.
Side note 1: I know there are people who have become successful without a mentor, and only by execution, but at the moment, I am not them. I am a person with my own unique needs & unique situations. And throughout this post, I only speak for myself.
There are essentially two ways of learning, and one, I believe, is 5X to 10X faster than the other. First is by experience, and second is by actually learning a skill from books & mentors. By experience, you’re bound to make some mistakes, take time, and definitely by the time you’re done, you would have perfected, but it would take you much more time. Learning from a mentor or books, in my opinion, is faster, quicker, and pointed. You get perspectives and you get a direction. You understand the gap that lies between good work & great work, and you get another pair of lenses to critique your work; and from someone who has been there and done that.
Given the position I was in, all that I was learning was by execution and hit & trial. Of course I was spending a humongous amount of time on the side reading, but I was also really missing feedback and a mentor at work.
Since the product was doing decently well — I kick-started it when it was just an idea, brought the product-market fit, launched it, and sold it to hundreds of companies spread across the globe. From 0, it stands at $XXX ARR right now (XXX being a sizeable number ;)) and hence, it was a reason for me to believe that I must be doing good. But how good? I didn’t get that answer.
My career goal is not just to get along with the job and excel at it (which always requires a lot of fire-fighting and being caught in a whirlwind), but also to learn the art — in a systematic, and methodical way. And I did need teachers.
While working as the Product Manager at PushCrew, one thing became immediately clear to me. That was, I loved good products. I loved how each move you make in a product should solve an underlying problem that people are willing to pay for. Under that simple phrase, good product that solves a problem and is worth an investment, tons of things go. And I absolutely loved doing all of those! I started loving talking to customers and figuring out what pain points are they exactly pointing at, I started loving thinking what the solutions could look like, loved sketching bits of it here and there in my notebook, on calendar, behind bills, (next I want to do is on walls!) and started loving understanding what the current landscape of existing solutions looked like. In this process, I also read shitloads!
My wildly important goal for the next 5 years became clear in my head. 5 years down the line if anyone talked of the best product managers in India, I wanted a spot on that list. I had figured my way, the effort required, the cost I was willing to pay, and embraced the struggle.
In short, I chose art. To do just one thing. Insanely well. And that, I discovered, is the hardest. For that, you have to get out of your comfort zone, take the risk, and pay a price. I paid mine.
Second off, conventional wisdom says that you don’t quit a job w/o an option in hand. I thought that was the sub-optimal way. Because once you’re decided in your head you want to explore something new, you essentially slowly kill time till you find something new. You don’t tend to take the opportunities that come to you very seriously, because hey, you always have an option. So on it goes, gradually & comfortably, your journey to settle for something better. I took time off, weighed my options, and really looked at it as a project. I didn’t spread my resume at 100 places. I carefully hand-counted a few people & a few companies that I wanted to work with, and went about them one by one. From the top 2 on my list, I got a yes from one, and a, ‘we love you, but the timing ain’t right’ sort of a statement (the sweeter version of a ‘No’ I believe) from the other.
From where I finally got a yes and where I am working now, I started my interview process on 6th of December, and during the process of interviewing I fell in love with the person who was taking my interviews, and was also supposed to be my manager if at all I would be working with them. In a few conversations, I was sure, I found my mentor. I was sure I wanted to work with them and I could see all the huge gaps in my skills after every conversation of ours which now I am completely focused on filling.
I stopped my search after this.
Side note 2: To people who are reading this AND have been friends with me will know that when I use the sentence, ‘I fell in love with so & so’, it’s never the romantic sort of love, not a craving, but a genuine admiration & respect for someone smart I met. Intelligence and smarts attract me like nothing else and while choosing people to work with, until I get that orgasmic feeling of, ‘ooh, I can learn tons from them’, I don’t go ahead.
Of course, you have to read this with a pinch of salt, as not everyone has the option to stay at home and just focus on job hunt — there are always finances to take care of, and the addiction to that drug called the monthly salary.
Luckily, for me, neither was the case — I don’t have finance problems and neither am I addicted to the monthly safe check in the bank. I am almost always prepared & ready (and will always be in future as well),
- for any emergency when I don’t have this safe pay check making way into my bank account
- for all sorts of crazy choices I have to make & all the adventures I intend to take
- to never let money become a constraint
At this point, as far as my work life is concerned, I have only four priorities (in that same order) — being around smart people, getting to do good work, lot of learning, and getting the money I am worth (and I don’t shy away from asking my worth).
Third, when you’re on the job, you don’t have a deadline in your head. You can choose to keep delaying the prospect of a new job. Again, you have a comfortable cushion to fall back on. If something doesn’t go right, so be it, you might as well carry on with the same job you keep having thoughts of quitting. Very sub-optimal in my opinion and equivalent to dragging along a dead weight.
Fourth, and this might sound glittery and unnecessary in the context but I am also an ethical person. I didn’t want to spend my work time looking for options to get out of the same work place. I put my papers and only after I finished KT and was not taking any new projects, was when I started my job search. In short, I was scared of stealthily job hunting while making my employers believe I was working for them. That’s not me!
This didn’t come easy.
1The first on my list, from where I got a ‘we love you, but the timing ain’t right’, came as an unexpected, middle of the night (they are based out of the US), response to my job hunt project. Needless to say, I was shattered. I tried my best to follow my routine that day and by the end of the evening, I was on my bed crying like a baby saying things like, “it’s over”, “I made a mistake”, “I am not capable enough”, “I shouldn’t have quit”, “I made the wrong choice”, “I made the wrong decision”, the cushion was so much comfortable. But as absurd as these statements were, I got over them absurdly quickly because I hadn’t left myself with an option.
Had the same incident happened during my silent tenure at my job, while I was contemplating to leave, I wouldn’t have minded this at all. In fact, I would have just smiled, and moved on. But the struggle I chose for myself had become real after I had quit, and I didn’t have the luxury to ignore this failure. I made detailed notes of what could have gone wrong in this conversation and how I wasn’t going to repeat the mistakes I made.
2 Lot of my friends mocked at my choice, called me a daredevil, a brave lil girl, the stupid one, the adventurous one, one who is living on parents’ money (which BTW is true. I have been living off my parents money for the past 26 years!), asked me how sitting at home idle felt like, and so much more. All in good spirit and fun of course — but each time one of these things was said, I got even more encouraged to do something good for myself. I am not answerable to any one, but it broke my heart couple of times. Human, human! :)
One of my friends also told me a story of how a lion left a hare running behind a deer and it couldn’t catch the deer and when the lion came back the hare was gone too. I was being referred the lion of the story. But I wasn’t it. I wasn’t going to miss the deer, and I wasn’t going to come back in search of the hare.
I left the hare for the deer, and made sure I get the deer. Simple.
Of course I took time to find my deer, but I was sure I would. And it may be a choice of life, but I don’t go looking for deer with a hare in my mouth and I don’t settle for a hare, when I want (and can get) the deer.
What this struggle taught me?
1This one life incident taught me that when people around you make choices, have little less judgement, and little more kindness. On that note, I would also like to thank my friend Chawla who I called up almost every evening during this job hunt period and discussed how I can do better. She’s the most rebellious, UN-judgemental (if that’s even a word) person I know. She’s also the only woman I know who is strictly living life of her own terms. My PDA moment — I love you, Chawla!
All the other people with whom I was in touch during this job hunt period, if you’re reading this, know that someway or the other, your trust & kindness made me love you even more and I will be stubborn about having you in my life forever.
2Another thing that I have learned in life and I repeat to myself in every period of struggle, is that in the grand scheme of things, very (very) few things matter. Wrong choices happen, wrong decisions are made, and so are good ones, and wise ones. It’s still going to be OK. What matters is, how happy you are, and how comfortably and respectfully you live your choices.
3I also learned how to write a good resume — the art of bragging about yourself, subtly. I slashed my resume down from 3 pages & 840 words to 1 page & 406 words.
Towards the end of this period of discomfort, I realized, I should put myself in more uncomfortable situations. That, I found, is the path to growing in life.
And! The most important lesson —I learned you don’t send emails with jokes in them to your prospective employers. (yes, I did that -.-)
Few rules that I made for myself during my job hunting period:
1 Like dating, during job hunting, I only focus on one at a time. This gives me enough time to learn about them, learn about myself, and mutually learn if we are a good fit.
2 I don’t look for surface-level perks (a better salary, a flexible leave policy, a shiny laptop, and other stuff) but rather my ability in the situation to make it a long-term relationship. If at any point I don’t see myself holding on to it for at least the next 3 years (my arbitrary magic number for jobs), I don’t go ahead.
3 I score each prospecting experience under a cumulative score of 30. Score from 0to 12 for the people I am going to work with, score from 0 to 9 for the work & learning that I’ll be getting, score from 0 to 6 for the product that I’ll be working on, score from 0 to 3 for the monetary return of the stint. Yes, the balance needs to tilt towards the things I value over other things, and hence this calculation.
My first two choices from where I got a soft No, and the experience which dragged over a month and half (! while I also contemplated what all I’d be writing in my parting letter to the world before I died of anxiety because these guys just weren’t telling me if it was a yes) respectively, ended up scoring more than 30 each. When I made these calculations, neither promised a salary package, and hence I had to just add a 0/3 in that column.
The “we love you, but the timing ain’t right” ones, actually scored 24/12. That screwed the entire calculations whatsoever. And I desperately wanted to work with them. The 2nd ones scored 17/12, 5 extra points for being able to absolutely clearly tell me the places I needed to work more on in my skills — I love it when I get pointed & useful feedback.
How I spent my time during this job hunt period, when I was not job hunting:
1 I read 2 books
2 I read 200+ articles
3 I took a trip to Thailand & Malaysia
4 I spent the New Year day with my mom — the only one who has stood by me and who chooses to love me even after knowing me in & out. And the one who lets me make choices that are beyond the purview of my gender, and societal acceptances. Quitting my job without an option was one of them. She did make one rather funny statement though when I told her I am quitting my job, “tumne to bas mjhe tang karna hai.. kaunsa ladka shaadi karega ab bina job wali ladki se”. Yes ma, everything in life takes a full circle, and comes back to marriage! On this public platform, I am promising you, I’ll get married. Soon.
5 I think I also intimidated a few prospective employers / interviewers with my excitement. If you’re one of them, and reading this, and wondering if I am always so excited, well, yes, I mostly am. No explanation. :D
6 I watched The Crown. My favorite dialogue from the TV series is, “I am aware that I am surrounded by people who feel that they could do the job better, strong people with powerful characters but, for better or worse, the crown has landed on my head.” I replayed these 20 seconds at least a dozen times, and almost always said Woah!
9 I rented a second-hand laptop which had all its keys jumbled up to write my assignments. (and made my life difficult-er!)
10 I wrote this post which now comes to an end.
P.S. This is a story of a completely personal choice of things, and the reader is not required to hold this story in high regard (or poor). This is just that — a story of a choice. In no way, I am preaching it to anyone else — your situation is different from mine and so should be your choices.
I chose to quit without an offer in hand to look for a new adventure. And I ain’t afraid of making choices that don’t sound right to you — in fact, in 2017, I am set to making more of them. Social conformity doesn’t feature in my decision making checklist!
In case you liked the article, please recommend it (and make my day). Better yet, reach out on Twitter and say hi! :)
