Taylor Swift’s About to “Go Black”
Hazy Cat
Am I the only one who thinks that “Lavender Haze” is not that good? Okay, the weed is probably bomb AF but the song is definitely some mid.
Don’t get me wrong, the beat is vibey but Taylor’s voice on the chorus sounds a bit like a cat’s meow that’s been turned up a couple of pitches. I heard this conspiracy theory that she’s half cat, and since she has at least 4.5 lives, she has to at least date that many men per year. Who the hell knows, but she does kind of look like a beautiful white Persian cat with blue eyes.
But I digress…maybe it’s time to put the Purple Haze down for a second.
Speaking of pussy, Taylor Swift’s is like the oval office before Jan. 20th, 2009. Only white guys have been there.
Her birth control must be on the level of Beatrix Kiddo when it comes to annihilating sperm because there have been at least 88 crazy white men trying to be her baby daddy and be set for life!
Mix it Up!
I don’t say this to slut shame her. Taylor is a huwhite pop princess in her prime. She could have any tall order she wants.
Yet, she always goes for the Vanilla Bean? BOR-ING! What a waste. In rare form, she put a black man in her music video for “Lavender Haze “. He is FOINE. While watching their sexy on-screen swirl scene, I realized that in all the years that make up Taylor’s long flourishing career, she has never had a black boyfriend.
I have a feeling it won’t be long before we finally see Taylor order that tall, caramel macchiato with mocha sprinkles and a little whipped cream in real life. C’mon Taylor. We’re rooting for you!
Something New
Taylor’s bound to have a black boo. “Midnights”, her latest album, seems to have some traces of R&B influence, which is an inherently black musical genre.
I think part of what makes Taylor a musical genius is her chameleon like ability to mix multiple genres into her pop-based music. Could this be another clue that she’s down with the swirl? I’m curious to know if she’s always had such a wide range of musical taste from the beginning of her career or if it’s something that has evolved with her over time.
In my experience, a lot of people’s dating preferences change over the years. I can attest to that by looking at how ugly the guys that I used to date were.
They’re way less ugly now, thank God. Hey, what can I say. We’re not all Taylor Swift. She probably smashed the guy in the “Lavender Haze” video though. Lucky bitch.
