The Elixir Of The Gods

Elrond told Sam to get in the barrel.

“But its full of piss, Sir Elrond.”


Sam looked terrified by the shouting elf, and reluctantly climbed into the barrel. The elixir of the gods soaked through Sam’s clothes and into his skin. It was horribly warm. Suddenly Gandalf popped up from behind the barrel, and dunked Sam’s head under. Gandalf and Elrond started to laugh.

“Hobbits really are amazing creatures,” chuckled Gandalf. “You can learn all there is to know about their ways in a month, and yet after a hundred years you can dunk them in a barrel of piss and you will laugh and laugh and laugh and be unable to stop.”

Sam started to cry. “Oh, Sam,” Frodo said indulgently, a delicate smile upon his lips.

Boromir looked on from the doorway, scowling. Gimli started to sing about gold.