My mom sent me to Jesus camp the following summer when she caught me in the bathroom with my iphone. I told her I was coding up the next minecraft, but she said god was disappointed in me, and I was going to get hairy palms. At Jesus camp we learned to be friends with all different races, and that’s when I met Wong. He was 18 and he said he was an Android developer. The iphoneRulezKidzJailbreakHaxor blog told me that android sucked, so i stayed away from him.
If he could code, I could code. When I got back from camp, I opened microsoft notepad, and I started writing batch scripts from this youtube tutorial. My first app was called open.bat and it opened notepad, so i code start coding even faster than before.
From that moment… I knew… I was on to something big.
I begged my parents for an Macbook so I could make iphone apps for my iphone, which was made by apple (steve jobs made apple. i am the next steve jobs if you didn’t get that already). They said if I studied really hard and got As in all my classes, they would buy me one. From this point, I read all my textbooks cover to cover, every day, and I got the macbook for christmas.
This was the beginning in becoming steve jobs. All I needed now was to join the iphone os developer program. I wasn’t 18, so I signed up under my dad’s name, and he was mad for some reason. I googled “how to code iphone apps for minecraft” and stackoverflow said i had to learn objective c. Objective c was too hard, so I went on a mission to make my own language. According to this guy on this one forum, all i needed to make my own programming language was Java. GREAT! I knew javascipt from playing minecraft snince notch, my other hero besides steve jobs, made minecraft in it.
It seemed like hours… It seemed like days… I don’t know how long it took, but when I was finally finished, I made my first iphone app!
It was called Test.xcodeproj, and it was so cool. It made this white screen, and there was even a storyboard, so I could write stories. I mean, what else could storyboards be for lol? I submitted it to itunes connect, and apple rejected it. WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT?! I’m the next steve jobs for fak sake. If Steve Jobs was alive and reviewing the apps, he would see it and hire me right away. Apple sucks now without steve jobs. They need me to bring the company back!
Later that year, I got a Twitter so I could let everybody know that I was the inspiring, impressive, talented age of 14 AND a coder. To let everybody know how impressive being a coder at my age was, I put a period after my age like this “14. Developer. Thinker.” to make sure everybody understood how impressive I am.
This one girl from my school favorited my tweet about the math test we had, so I asked her out the next day in pre-algebra class and she said she just wanted to be friends ;( I WAS FRIENDZONED!!!!!!!!! I didn’t know what to do, so I put my fedora on and played minecraft for 2 days straight without sleeping.
On the internet while i was looking up silly maymays, i saw a website for some event where people would stay up for like 2 days straight and code to win a prize… THIS WAS MY CHANCE TO PROVE MYSELF! I applied to the hackathon and they ACCEPTED ME! Its probably really hard to get into hackathons and I must to have had to be really good at making code to get in.
I asked my mom if I could go after I got the acceptance email, and she was like no because you can’t go. and i was like why mom!? and she was like you’re too young to go to a strange city with strange men and hak things. “Hacking is illegal,” she said, but I explained to her that I was in Anonmyous, so it’s ok, but she didn’t let me go still!!!!!!!!
So basically, I started making more iphone os apps, and now im going to save up to get glass by android, so i can do stuff with that.
TO BE CONTINUED,
(in my spare time i do persuasuve writing for conservative poilitcs)