Writing to Gratify Myself

I opened my medium account just about a week ago and I have been consistently writing for about a week now. It's so important to me to write something down because I know for over two years I procrastinated by waiting for the right time to start writing.

I know that my goal is to use my writing for a very reasonable purpose eventually but at the moment I have a ton of reasons to procrastinate like I did for about two years.

I could even console myself by pointing out that I have written a few things in the past two years that seem to be good but I know this would be deceiving myself.

My mind wanders around easily and I have multiple thoughts that I have probably forgotten because I have not worked on them and I hope to use my writing to avoid such situations. I know writing about my thoughts would significantly improve my lifestyle in some ways and if I can become very consistent at my writing I would look back and feel a high level of gratification.

I believe the gratification I seek from my consistency is higher than all other forms of gratifications I can get from my writing combined.

I would love for people to read what I write, recommend it and I hope that I write one that positively impacts and changes the life of people. Although I see some form of gratification coming from these, the highest form I seek comes from my ability to be consistent with it.

I hope to change something with my writing, whether it be a thought, perception, perspective or even someone’s mind but I do not see the benefit if I cannot successfully change myself.

I know there are other aspects of my lifestyle I hope to change and I am only optimistic that with the gratification I get from writing that I would be more motivated to make these changes.

I know if I do not do this for myself, I have successfully written this to remind me of my failure; if I seek to find some form of gratification that I do not have yet by the year’s end, I would be reminded that I was the one that deprived myself of it.