I recently started dating a man that I have tons in common with, that makes me laugh, that makes me feel more comfortable than I’ve ever felt with anyone. He also has muscular dystrophy.
This is incidental to me as I am disabled as well, but I’ve had more than one of the people I’ve told about this relationship ask “Are there things you have to do for him that he can’t do himself?”. Abled people. And it annoys the ever living fuck out of me.
Firstly, because he is a man in his 30s who lives alone. He works full time. He’d figured out how do do quite a lot of shit before having met me last month.
Secondly, I just am really uncomfortable with abled people asking me that question. Why would you ask that? Morbid curiosity? Is it inspirational when disabled people help each other and can function “almost like normal” couples?
Third, IT IS RUDE. If I am comfortable discussing the topic of my or his disability, our relationship, or our sexuality with you, I will bring that up. People feel that it’s more acceptable to ask disabled people grossly invasive questions, for whatever reason. IT IS NOT.