I beg to differ.
I have heard your calls for help. I have heard your cries of your “unworthiness”. I have hesitated to answer your call because I have been dealing with my own issues, and I was afraid I’d be too weak to offer any real healing help to you. I regret that decision now, even knowing that it was probably the best thing for me. It wasn’t for you. Of this I am certain.
But, I am here now, and I have to ask you a question…
Do you not see that you are blinded by your addiction..? Do you not know that you are allowing your “monkey” to control you..? Do you really not know that the simple fact that you continue to try to reach out for help is demonstrative of your strength? Of your innate ability to withstand anything? That the pain of what you perceive to be coming at you is nothing compared to what you are putting yourself through every day that you allow your addiction to control you?
I do. I see it clear as day.
You know what else I see..?
I see that you ARE strong. You ARE capable of dealing with all of this. That you CAN do this. If only you’d allow yourself to do it.
The only thing you are fighting now is yourself. You need to give in, break that fortress wall, and allow yourself to be helped. You need to understand that there are people out here that believe in you. In the goodness of you. In the fighter in YOU that we have all seen, time and again.
You are the only one who doesn’t see it, and that’s only because your monkey keeps hiding her from you. Talk to HER. Not that hairy brute who wants to keep you chained in the corner, cowering and doing its bidding.
Get up. Fight for you. Fight for the things you want. Fight for the person we all see that you ARE.
We know you can do it. YOU are the only one who thinks you can’t. Think about that for a minute.
YOU are the ONLY one who thinks you aren’t worth fighting for…! I know you’re worth it. I’ve seen it. Again, and again!
Maybe…? Just… MAYBE..? You might not be so right this time… after all? We can’t ALL be wrong, now..? Can we?
Just do me a favor? Tell the monkey to shut its trap for a minute. Just a minute! And THINK. Let yourself THINK.
We love you Jenn. We’re just waiting for you to believe in US more than that chattering monkey on your back… Please?