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I don’t even know where to put this, so, sorry Violet and Meg, it’s going here, because I’m just lost right now.

I feel complicit. I saw the two FB profiles.

I dismissed the first one because it hadn’t been used since last year. I thought maybe she’d forgotten her password and had no option to recover it. Not so unusual, so? No problem.

I scrolled to the bottom of the current profile, saw the black eye, saw the recovery stuff… felt it was legit.

Saw the boyfriend, thought, ok… why haven’t we heard about him? Is she not ready to talk about him..? Saw that she’d posted “engaged” then “in a relationship”. Figured she wasn’t sure what was going on. His page revealed little to nothing.

Left it there.

Saw the school stuff… I didn’t think to look at the schedules for school… its been too long since I was in college, and my girl isn’t there yet… Didn’t even occur to me.

Left it there.

Like an idiot…!!!

All I saw was an abused woman, in recovery. Someone I wanted to support.

And then…? I was away from here for three days, dealing with a mess of my own, and I hear about the funding page… and got a glimpse of the generous offerings of people… and thought…

Wait…? Fund a Survivor… with her face… And someone else’s name in her description? WTF?

“On behalf of…” I don’t remember the name precisely, so I don’t want to misquote… but, it wasn’t the boyfriend, and it wasn’t hers either…

IF I’m remembering the name right, he’s a known dealer, user, and abuser who’s been arrested multiple times for DUI/DWI etc. in Abilene, TX. The last arrest was a month ago.

And then the fund page disappeared… Does that mean she took the money and ran..? I don’t know how GoFundMe works, so..? Who the fuck knows..!

I can only hope it works in a way that, if you don’t make your goal? You don’t get a penny. There’s one of those funding sites that works that way… just can’t remember which one it is…

My heart wants to believe that it’s all a misunderstanding. That she couldn’t respond to Violet’s questions because she violated Medium’s policy against funding pages/posts/pieces whatever…

But… my gut tells me otherwise.

Right now? I want to go back into every post I ever made with her name on it and delete it. All of it.

My heart says not to do that because maybe… just maybe…? There’s someone legit who will hear my words and somehow benefit.

I don’t really believe that I could have that much of an impact on anyone, but, on the off chance that I can? I’ll leave them there. For now. I may just need to remove her name from them tho…

Because it makes me feel dirty and used, and I’m tired of feeling that way…

This is my ex-best friend all over again. And I never saw it coming. I feel like an absolute idiot. When will I ever learn..? Ok… I said I had no words, huh..? Time to stop. Sorry for spilling my guts here, but, I couldn’t keep it in for another minute.

Sorry for anything I did to help this fraud gain any traction folks. I know I’m not the only one, but, I am still… Really… REALLY..! Sorry.

Oh, yeah… And where’s her other champion… Fierce Force 💃🏼?? Disappeared three days ago…? About the same time as all this started to come to light..? Where’d she go…?

At this point, I don’t know what or who to believe anymore… Going back in my cave for a bit. See y’all later. Maybe. I just dunno anymore.

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