I Think I’ve Been Triggered
I don’t have a safe place.
Nowhere to go
Nowhere to hide.
To be safe.
To be whole.
To be me once again.
I am frightened beyond belief
I am not whole
I am not safe.
I’m in the company of strangers
who don’t believe in me.
I am alone.
And dangerously in need
of arms to surround me.
I am not used to this feeling, it’s foreign to me.
I’m used to MY spine
The one that I grew
The one that I knew
The one that never needed
Anyone’s help
Or strength
or steel…
I don’t have it now.
And it’s too strange, this feeling.
Almost feel like I’m floating.
This is…
weird for me.
I know I’ve been triggered.
I understand that now
I know I don’t feel safe.
I know I’m remembering a day
long ago
when I wasn’t in that place.
I know I need to get back to today
Where I am ok
Where I am in a safe place
Where he cannot reach me
Where he has NO space
But I can’t seem to do it.
I’m all over the place.
How do I stop this
How do I do it?
I feel lost and alone
And I know that’s not true
But, where do I go now?
Whose words are true?
