This type of writing forces me to make visible dark and secret things about myself…It is as freeing…
Renae Tobias

I understand. As I said to another writer on facebook today, about telling our #notokay stories..? (She felt exposed, because her story got some attention…)

“It’s an intimate story of a horrendous event in your life. But? There can be comfort in the knowledge that you’re not alone. I know for me there was… Each story I told made me feel a little lighter… And I’d never told anyone about any of my assaults. I’ve told about three of them now… Maybe someday I’ll be able to tell about the others too. I needed to stop talking about them for a bit, because it was making me go to dark places too much. I just try to think of it now as people know. It happened to me.

If I have nothing to be ashamed of, why do I want to keep it a secret..?

Because I was ashamed of having been a victim.”

A partner so blatantly cheating is also an assault. It’s just emotional, instead of physical. And it doesn’t mean that you did anything wrong. It’s not your shame to bear. It’s his/hers…

The point is… Telling the story finally allows you to admit that you shouldn’t have to bear ANY shame for having trusted someone who was untrustworthy. That’s not on you. It’s on THEM.

Anyway… Please!! Keep writing this… It’s sooo damned good.


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