Why You Shouldn't Snoop Through Your Partner’s Phone

Their phone is not a tool of leverage for your insecurities

Don’t Do It!

Our phones are digital repositories of private information, intimate thoughts, and obscure memes. Regardless of the nature of your digital footprint, the contents of your phone belong to you. There are those who believe this right is relinquished when we consent to a committed relationship.

News Flash: It ain’t!


Snooping through a mate’s phone is not exclusive to race, gender, or financial class. Doubts and feelings of uncertainty exist in every relationship at some point.

But surveillance is not a condition of love. And trust isn’t built by a series of periodic check-ins. By treating it as such, we rob ourselves of true security and love. Snooping is a wicked game you will always lose.

Here are three reasons why shouldn’t.


1. Because you’re an adult, not a spy

While the two aren’t exactly mutually exclusive, you’re probably not the latter. And just for kicks, let’s say you’re into espionage; you’re probably hiding way more shit. So if you believe your mate is being dishonest and/or fucking the gardener- simply ask them. You’re an adult, remember? That doesn’t guarantee an honest or satisfactory response. So if you’re still not convinced, you should do one of two things:

  • Make sure your suspicions are not being fueled by past traumas, unwarranted insecurities or projections.
  • Consider leaving the relationship.

2. Snooping doesn’t stop infidelity

The only line of defense against cheating is a mate who chooses you every day. Cheating is a violation of trust that will ravage every fiber of security in your relationship. But we are powerless against it. It is unfortunate as it is true. The onus is on those we entrust our hearts to.


3. Even people who have nothing to hide deserve privacy

Your partner’s phone is not a tool of leverage for your insecurities. Not finding anything incriminating in your mate’s phone is not a victory. It is a breach of trust.