Terry Bain

Author of YOU ARE A DOG http://j.mp/youareadog & WE ARE THE CAT http://j.mp/wearethecat

A Review of Things Said to Me Upon the Death of My Daughter


I’m going to write about my daughter once in awhile, but I’ll do it in a way that will not be…

Cue the Shoes

Developing Cues that Remove Barriers to Human Exercise

Perhaps the most important thing to teach your people is the value of exercise. It is well…

Playing the Wrong Machine

Obsessively Checking Stats Online Is a One-Armed Bandit that Leaves Your Writing Bankrupt

Publications edited by Terry Bain

Pieces from a people training manual by Sadie, a Border Collie Mix. Companion to my book You Are a Dog: Life through the Eyes of Man’s Best Friend (Harmony/Crown).

Latest Story

Cue the Shoes

True proofs of things that need proving for the contemporary prover.

How to Know if the Tennis Ball is Yours

Assume you are a dog.

  • If the tennis ball smells of you, especially of your breath (of dry dog food and pizza and whatever was in…

Ergo: God Exists

I. Assume God Loves You and Wants You to Be Happy

Remember the song “Fish Heads” by Barnes and Barnes, which famously makes the claim that you…

Eleven Things I Learned from a Skunk

1. Due to their odor seeming to be everywhere at once, a skunk is a master at misdirection for certain excitable personalities, but its last line of

Ergo: You’ve Already Had Your Free Refill

I. Assume you are only allowed one refill.

When asked what your novel is about, you snap “Death!” Then you turn away…


Gayle taps ashes into a saucer as Lyle walks toward her from the living room. He looks first at the ashes and then at the cigarette that Gayle is holding near her face, a thin wire…