Welcome to Our Luxury Boutique Hotel Where Each Room is Equipped With A See-Thru Bathroom Door

Terry Heyman
2 min readOct 28, 2019

Located in the heart of Greenwich Village, our hotel combines old world hospitality with the bohemian lifestyle of downtown Manhattan. That’s why we recently spent 49 million dollar renovating our guest bathrooms with classic white subway tiles, rainforest shower-heads, and see-thru bathroom doors so you can experience life like a homeless person in Washington Square Park.

Taking a page from our bohemian neighbors, we reject bourgeois notions of privacy. Our head designer convinced us translucent bathroom doors would make us leaders in the modern “Over-Sharing” movement. Not only that, they provide greater light for pore gazing and selfies.

Of course, not everyone was on board. One young architect questioned why not simply use brighter bulbs and asked, “Does anyone else think our head designer is a kinky-fuck?” But she was the only woman in a room full of men, so no one heard.

If you dream of seeing what your partner is up to at all times, then look no further. We just won “Best Bathroom” at the prestigious International Hotel Awards in Finland. And we’ll be featured in an upcoming Architectural Digest spread entitled: Exquisite Bathrooms You Won’t Want To Use. We’re so overwhelmed by the positive response, we’re thinking of removing bathroom doors entirely.

But don’t take our word for it. Check out what our guests are saying:

“Thank you. In one weekend I learned more about my husband than in eight years of marriage!” –Lizbeth S.

“So inspired! As soon as I got home I removed the door to my own bathroom.” — Hugo W.

“Eye opening!” — Bill S.

“WTF, perves? I made my husband go to Duane Reed each time I needed to go.” — Terry H.

Our exceptional hotel isn’t for everyone. We cater only to the most sophisticated travelers who aren’t shamed by life’s realities. For the rest of you, there’s Marriott.

Terry Heyman

Writer. Words in McSweeneys, TNYShouts, Slackjaw & others. Can be moody, but generally a nice person. Find her at terryheyman.com