Celebrate the good things that come from the bad things
My mother and sisters were killed by a drunk driver when I was five. My dad remarried and two more precious people came into my life. All of us have struggled with the angst of knowing that they would not exist if not for a terrible preceding event. Could I grieve my own loss without wishing them out of existence?
My best answer to this is that we live in a chaotic universe where shit happens and people make mistakes every day. Human history is replete with misguided matings, unplanned children, and untimely deaths to the point where I don’t think any of us would exist if all those wrongs were righted. We’d all be made of entirely different mixes of DNA with different lives and memories.
Which would be fine, too. All those other people could be living in a better world. But here we are now, all of us resulting from chaos reaching back through centuries of mistakes, misdeeds, and accidents.
What we have is each other, now. This is how I reconcile whole-hearted grief with whole-hearted love.
Another way I deal with angst is by pouring it into my writing as I put my characters through hell. Click here for my website, where you can start reading my debut novel and be notified when the second one is released: escapefe.com