Thanks for the response, Betta!
I don’t want to go around diagnosing everyone who annoys me with full-blown NPD (narcissistic personality disorder). I think anyone who is in pain, whether physical or mental, will be self-absorbed to the degree that they’re in pain. I know when I have a toothache, I give little thought to the needs of others (though not none at all).
A lot of clutter/storage problems have quite reasonable origins. We’ve also had years of being extremely strapped and deprived, and it’s scary to throw away something we might need in the future when buying a new one probably won’t be an option. But then, we’ve been forced to buy new things when we couldn’t find what we knew we had due to too much stuff and disorganization.
It’s this habit of taking up all the space that rings narcissistic to me. The assumption that when I clear a space, it’s for him to use, and clutter up, and move on. We don’t have a lot of space. And I want some of it for me. I need to believe that I have a right to thrive and be happy in my own home.