Re: Beyoncé’s “Formation” - Less Protest, More Conversation

A Little Background

Assuming you partook in the uniquely American pastime that is the Super Bowl, you are likely familiar with the performance that has caused quite a ruckus across the interwebs and ruffled an unfortunate number of white feathers.

In case you had better things to do than watch large men give each other concussions, you can find it here. (Beyoncé comes in around the 1:35 mark if you’re solidly opposed to Bruno Mars’s sweet dance moves.)

To be clear (putting the allegedly controversial messaging of “Formation” aside for a moment), I think we can all agree that Beyoncé absolutely slayed her performance. So much so that, between her and Bruno Mars, Coldplay may as well have been sitting in the bleachers. (Sorry, Coldplay.)

Beyoncé’s performance was based off her new song “Formation,” the video of which dropped the day before the Super Bowl. Aside from acting as an anthem for the black community, it visually addresses some very real issues such as:

• tragedy surrounding Hurricane Katrina
• what it’s like to be black in America
• the police brutality that is incessantly inflicted upon the black community

You can check it out below:

Cue the maelstrom of opinions regarding this work of art that you are free to Google; all of which are now coalescing in protests both for and against Beyoncé. All I’ll say on that matter is that the BeyHive is a formidable opponent.

We’re Missing The Point

Am I shocked that this is the response? No. Given the range of topics that are being touched on, the conversation that is occurring is likely part of what Beyoncé’s intention was in the first place. All you have to do is watch Life is But a Dream to know that Beyoncé is here to make an impact with her work. She is willing to tackle difficult subjects from her experiences and her perspective.

Oh, I’m sorry, did you forget that Beyoncé is black?

Does that make you uncomfortable?

If you can support Beyoncé for something like “Run The World” or “Flawless,” but for some reason just can’t stomach “Formation,” you have to know in your heart of hearts that something isn’t right there. Instead of empowering just women, she happens to be empowering both specifically black women and her community — you know, the black one.

The fact that “Formation” hasn’t been wrapped up in a politically correct veneer for white people doesn’t mean that the art Beyoncé produced is any less relevant, powerful, or informative.

Clearing the Cruft

Now, before someone tries to derail the point of this article with the “family-friendly” argument in regards to a Super Bowl performance, I’ll let the amazing Jessica Williams weigh in:

“First of all, are you saying that you can’t talk about race issues to middle America? What, are they so delicate and unaware and maybe so white that Beyoncé is too much for them? You know what’s right in the middle of America? Ferguson, Missouri.”

Additionally, part of the current noise can be attributed to a bunch of old white guys (*looking at you Giuliani*) being really uncomfortable with the fact that an inspirational, powerful, successful black female is 100% in charge of the narrative. I’d like to hope for the sake of our society that the quantity of that faction is on the decline, but they are sadly still part of the peanut gallery.

The fact of the matter is that nothing about “Formation” is an attack on white people and anyone trying to make that argument clearly has an alternative agenda. It is a testament to a culture and community that, as Kate Forristall stated, white people don’t need to understand.

Finally, I’ll leave the, “Beyoncé is attacking the police force,” nonsense to the beautiful sentencing speech given by Judge Vonda Evans to a white police officer from Michigan for assaulting an unarmed, non-confrontational black man after being stopped on a minor traffic offense. As Judge Evans shows, it is possible to simultaneously support both the police force and good officers while not condoning or supporting the actions of corrupt, maladjusted sorry excuses for human beings.

Disconnecting From This Conversation is Undermining Our Society’s Potential to Heal

The problem that I have with what’s happening in conversation around Beyoncé’s song and performance is that, when given the chance to recognize the humanity that exists within a group of people that do not share the same skin color as me, I’m told to either be angry at it, protest it, or not partake in the conversation at all. (And no, Giuliani, “we’ll work on that” is not a good enough response to police brutality. Period.)

A quote from a piece entitled “It’s Not That White Women Can’t Write About Beyoncé and ‘Formation,’ but Maybe They Shouldn’t” is a primary catalyst for this article. Based on an interview between Essence writer Aliya S. King and an Australian writer named Kath, the following was shared by Kath on the subject:

“My intention is to urge White women to allow Black women to speak about art that belongs to them. “Allow” is the wrong word though, it’s not White women’s place to give “permission” to Black women… I guess I mean make space? Hand over the stage/spotlight? Take a seat and let someone more relevant to speak? Beyoncé didn’t make this song for me — except maybe to LISTEN and LEARN.”

First of all, not to be overly pedantic, but the only person that art belongs to is the artist. “Formation” most definitely speaks to black culture and any number of black people may be able to better relate to the song than me, but the only person that the song belongs to is Beyoncé and her company.

When she chose to release “Formation” out into the wild blue yonder, that was an open invitation for anyone to experience and interpret it in their own right. That’s part of the beauty of art. There is no point in making art if what you’re interested in doing is dictating who can and cannot interact with, write about, or have an opinion on it. Not that I know Beyoncé personally, but I think it’s a fairly safe assumption that that is not her intention.

Secondarily, the fact that there is ANY sort of waffling about whether or not white women need to “allow” or “give permission” to anyone about anything only highlights how distortedly skewed the conversation about race has gotten. I know that wasn’t Kath’s intention as she attempted to clarify, but the unfortunate fact is that was where her mind went to first. The weirdness that white people have in regards to discussing race I think is best summed up by Chris Rock:

“To say Obama is progress is saying that he’s the first black person that is qualified to be president. That’s not black progress. That’s white progress. There’s been black people qualified to be president for hundreds of years…The question is, you know, my kids are smart, educated, beautiful, polite children. There have been smart, educated, beautiful, polite black children for hundreds of years. The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.”

I’d like to up Chris Rock’s ante and say let’s hope America starts producing more empathetic white people, as well as more empathetic people on the whole, because empathy is the only way we are going to heal as a society as we brave connection with others in unfamiliar and uncomfortable territory.

Everything You Think You Know About Empathy Is Wrong

Empathy is most often described by people as “walking in someone else’s shoes.” That statement is making a huge assumption that you, as a complex, nuanced human being, are able to take all of you — your characteristics, experiences, insights, heuristics, and traits (your lens, as it were) — and set that aside completely to fully adopt someone else’s lens.

Pulling from the work of Dr. Brené Brown (as I will for a good portion of this empathy section), “that lens is soldered to our heads.” It’s going absolutely nowhere. Given that knowledge, the likelihood that you’ll be able to proverbially walk in someone else’s shoes successfully is reeeaaaalll low.

Dr. Brown also points out that, the more inline your perspective is with the predominate culture in your society, the less likely you are to have either challenged that perspective or to know how to take other perspectives. I’d hazard a guess that the more stereotypically white you are, the less practice you’ve had taking on other perspectives.

So, What is Empathy?

Dr. Brown has found a better definition of empathy based on more than a decade worth of research in the areas of vulnerability and shame. (If you’re not familiar with her work, I would highly recommend her TED talk on The Power of Vulnerability as a starting point.) From Dr. Brown’s perspective, real empathy is being able to come from the following place with people:

“The world that you see through your lens, which is way different than mine, is as real, true, and accurate as the world I see through my lens. Perspective taking is listening to the truth as other people experience it and acknowledging it as truth.”

Empathy is how you feel with someone and let them know that they’re not alone in the struggle that is the human experience. Empathy is what fuels connection with others and, as much as some people may not like to admit it, connection is a core human need beyond physiological and safety based needs if we throw back to Maslow.

To be clear, empathy is not about connecting with a specific experience or condoning a particular point of view. It’s about connecting to the emotion underneath of that experience or viewpoint.

The Difference Between Empathy & Sympathy

Another important distinction made by Dr. Brown is that empathy and sympathy are not the same things. “Empathy is feeling with someone, whereas sympathy is feeling for someone” from a removed, safe place. It’s the difference between saying “Wow. Thanks for sharing with me. I’m here for you. You’re not alone in this.” vs. “Oh, bless your heart. You poor thing!” You can never feel someone else’s feelings for them; all sympathy does is “encourage disconnection” and “exacerbates shame.”

How Shame & Guilt Are Getting In The Way

Let’s get really real here for a second.

• The enslavement of African Americans in North America was real.
• Police brutality against the black community is real.
• The marginalization of women, especially minority women, is real.

These are statements of fact. If statements like these solely raise a desire for you to defend, debate, or blame — you’re missing the point. As a society, we need to stop detracting from the real issues through petty arguments and fixation on hollow details. The only way our country is ever going to heal regarding complex issues such as racism, police brutality, sexism, discrimination, etc. is by coming to a point of understanding with one another. These conversations are difficult, sticky, and uncomfortable, likely due to the fact that we all have feelings of shame and guilt associated with the atrocities that have occurred against our fellow beings. However, in the words of Dr. Brown,

“Empathy is a hostile environment for shame. Shame cannot survive empathy.”

Just because I’m white does not mean that I identify in any way, shape, or form with the horrific decisions that were made by the white people before me. Just because I’m white does not mean that I condone the targeting of specific groups of people (or anyone, for that matter) by the police. I may not have encountered these specific situations before in my life and, I may never. However, that does not mean that I can’t relate to what it feels like to have sadness, despair, anger, disgust, fear, and hate wash over me when injustice occurs. Similarly, the color of my skin also doesn’t block me from being able to relate to the feelings of joy, love, happiness, and wonder when truly amazing things happen.

At the end of the day, we are all human. We all share this planet together until the sun decides to explode. We can either keep turning everything into a battle of Us vs. Them or we can stop operating from a place of fear and actually find ways to support each other in the very strange reality that is being a human. I certainly would much prefer to spend my time working with people to move ourselves forward as a society as opposed to spending time in the blame game or straight up pretending like these problems don’t exist.

A Call To Arms

Few things reach people in such a visceral, deep way as music and visuals; Beyoncé’s “Formation” is just one example of art that provides each individual who comes in contact with it the ability to explore a new perspective from an empathetic stand point. May we see this as an opportunity to explore, learn, and gain a better understanding of a variety of topics that are deeply affecting our country.

The request I make is this — to everyone — please stop selectively participating in only the conversations that feel innately familiar and comfortable to you. Be willing to say, as Dr. Brown would,

“What you see is as true, and real, and honest as what I see. Let me get curious about what you see.”

Take this as an opportunity to not only listen and learn, but to participate in a larger conversation.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with different cultures, communities, perspectives, and traditions — it’s part of what makes the human experience so incredibly fascinating and beautiful. Let’s stop trying to tear them down and, instead, celebrate them for the amazing contributions they bring to this world.

Finally, thank you, Beyoncé, for being that bitch that causes all this conversation.