Describe your ideal roommate

I am sure most of us have played the game where we have either described our ideal roommate or thought of a celebrity we would most like to know. Go back to those conversations and think of the qualities or characteristics you would want in an ideal roommate. Also list some of the things you really wouldn’t like.

A couple of things that I certainly wouldn’t like in a roommate is someone who is really messy and someone who nags. Imagine living with someone who constantly moans and nags and points out all the negatives about you or the world, someone who only sees the bad in things or tells you what you should or should not do.

Now pause for a second. Be quiet and listen. What do you hear? If you listen hard enough you are going to start to hear some chatter. Some noise. Where is it coming from? From inside your head. Now listen to what that noise is saying. Is it positive? For most of us it is probably saying ‘Why has Mark asked me to pause? What is he trying to get across? He doesn’t know anything! I am going to carry on regardless.’ These are all negative comments, all comments trying to get us to move on, trying to get us to rebel against the instructions given.

If you are like me then most of my inner voice is negative and yet is something with which I spend every second of every day. My inner voice never leaves me. But it can. You can turn it off — you can make it neutral and even positive.

So how do you do this? The first step is to acknowledge that your inner voice exists. Hear it and listen to the content. If you don’t like what you hear then change it. Externalise the voice to a person sat next to you — someone with whom you can converse and from who you can walk away if you do not like what they are saying. You have to take control of your inner voice and not let it take control of you. Once you have externalised it and controlled it then you can start changing the content — turning the negative thoughts to neutral and positive. It is in your control.

Originally published at on May 12, 2017.