scenarios in communications
Time slip away pretty quickly, especially when you don’t stop for a while and pay attention to the people you care about, you’ll miss it. Time became infinitely long if you are playing scenario games in communications (a piece of information can be taken as different meanings depending on how you are looking at it).
Often times I tend to overthink and overanalyze, it was a bad habit I developed when I was younger, it automatically puts me in control of situations, yet largely and unnecessary complicated my life, though, that means by making a decision of an action I develop more scenarios, more options, more diversities of outcome, more flexibility and more subtlety of the main story line of reality and then extract itself, and became many many small branches of fiction stories based on that story in reality, and the small branches of possibilities opens up new branches that continues the endless circle, to the point, they all end up looking like a stack of abstract lines leads to all different scenarios in my head, ironically, it won’t even make sense eventually.
That part, the subtlety part, I find it so common in the modern world politics, and funny as hell in relationships too, subtleties sometimes feels more civilized but in reality I call it cowardice, I admit I want trust, affection and understanding to survive in this world, but more urgently, I think I might need courage, since I’m burdened by my giant ego that doesn’t take bruises well, I wonder how can I ever let the guy know that I love him.