Week 12: Mr. Sugar Daddy
There is no doubt that “Sugar Daddy” is a negative term.
Existing in both heterosexual and homosexual worlds, sugar daddies are “men who offer support (typically financial and material) to a younger companion”, according to Wikipedia.
But this short film — Mr. Sugar Daddy, written and directed by Dawid Ullgren and released in 2016 — tells a different story about a particular one, at least in my opinion.
Hans is his name. Just separated from his boyfriend of 30 years, this lonely yet affluent man (from his appearance and his unrestrained spending) decided to join the night club world after so long, seeking for something, probably some comfort, even some hope.
So when finally finding a man about his age interacting intimately with a much younger boy after scanning around only to feel more uncomfortable surrounded by those young and juicy flesh, Hans showed some subtle smile on his face. That’s a smile of relief from the embarrassment of being the only outsider in an environment already quite far from him, and more importantly, a smile of hope. “Maybe I can also start a new life with someone like the young boy”.
Obviously a shy guy, Hans would have very well remained at the bar, drinking alone while fancying an exciting new relationship with any of the young bodies moving energetically on the dance floor. But happiness just kicked in unexpected, as Andrzej accidentally ran into him.
Although the first contact didn’t last more than a few seconds, the young man’s politeness, ambiguous regard and charming smile undoubted hooked the old man's heart, even igniting his courage to actively approaching the young man even after noticing his companies.
The second contact lasted a little longer, and went much deeper, with the two exchanging past relationships. And I think it was a good beginning of a possible real relationship between the two, as reflected in the jealousy of Denice, who didn’t seem friendly to Hans from the very beginning of their encounter and later interrupted the intimate exchange between Hans and Andrzej by imposing an early leave on the latter, who bravely rejected it at the invitation of Hans, who had already recovered much self-confidence thanks to the young man.
Their hard-earned third contact went further as Hans started to take the initiative to test the young man’s reaction, in a bid to try his chance. He was also bolder in saying explicitly “I can’t imaging living alone” and “Not all men are like him (Andrzej’s only boyfriend so far who cheated on him only after one month)”. The invitation was quite obvious, and the inexperienced young man was pondering — a promising sign for Hans.
I wonder how things would turn out if the critical moment wasn’t ruined by Henrik, a close friend of Andrzej who is also young and beautiful. Hans immediately returned to his defense position, a little frustrated and dwarfed.
When he finally put himself together and started seeking his target with another drink, he just couldn’t find any trace, until the unexpected re-encounter in the men’s room.
Andrzej didn’t look embarrassed, and he greeted Hans in a natural way like they were already friends. Then he delivered a little white pill offered by Henrik to Hans with his tongue, through their first kiss. What a kiss, with emotion.
It’s more his kiss than the pill that finally made Hans let all his guards down to fully fit in the dancing crowd and truly enjoy himself. He even danced intimately with the guy he met in the elevator in the beginning, posing a stark contrast to his uneasiness and shyness in their first conversation.
But the high moments didn’t last long for Hans, as he soon noticed the kiss between Andrzej and Henrik, which didn’t look like a play at all.
Upset and furious at the scene, which made him feel like a fool with all his efforts before, Hans poured his negative feelings on the young man he danced with, leaving him shocked in the moving crowds.
Then came the “Sugar Daddy moment”, as Hans raged toward Andrzej and Henrik, questioning Andrzej whether Henrik would be his “fuck” for the night and blaming Andrzej for “using” him. Hans was so convinced that he had been fouled as a Sugar Daddy.
Andrzej had a complex look when Hans suddenly changed his attitude and desperately sought to keep him. I think he still had feelings for Hans, who was so kind and sincere, but he was also less uncertain about the old man in front of him, who just blamed him as a sugar baby, a cheater. This “betrayal” only consolidated his already-forming belief that “being single is much better”.
It’s sad to see a bad ending between them, especially after the “almost there” moments they had, albeit short. Andrzej didn’t turn his back on Hans right away, but watched, with his complex look, Hans turning around and walking away first.
To me, the ending scene was like two lovers both too proud to admit their unthoughtful mistakes while hoping that the other would make the first compromise. What would happen to them afterwards? I don’t know, but unlike so many others who only saw this story as another typical encounter in the gay world, I’m cautiously optimistic. After all, they still have feelings for each other and have shown they cared about each other, even in the form of jealousy.
This might well be the reason why Hans’ partner left him after 30 years.
Or perhaps I’m totally wrong and it is indeed a typical sugar daddy story~
