My Fellow Americans, For The Last Time, The 45th President of the United States!
This is the only way he’d do it: with gusto like no one has ever seen before. He’s new at this.
Foreword: What does Donald Trump hate more than life itself? A “loser”. What do “losers” do more than any other person? Resign — from jobs and great endeavors to defeat and failure. Some may call these “losers” troubled persons doing the right thing out of personal conviction or public pressure. To Trump they’re just “losers” who “lost” the ability to succeed.
Donald Trump would never go out like a “loser”, that is like a troubled person realizing an untenable situation exists between his ego and the public trust and so must relinquish that trust as soon as possible. No, Donald Trump holds on. Donald Trump clamps down. Donald Trump holds on so hard he actually becomes the whirlwind he’s trying to keep from spinning out of control. And Donald Trump has been doing this for at least thirty years, long enough to spin out of control because he is the whirlwind and has no hold on himself.
So this global superstorm, this hurricane cannot just blow itself out by saying, ‘I give in’ and collapse. It must puff itself up so much it tries to fill our lives in passing on while, in reality, collapsing after one last gust. Donald Trump will only go out like a “champ”. So, here is his final blast.
In bold are Mr Trump’s prepared remarks. All else is off-the-cuff.
In my time, and it has been a great, great honor — in my time as your 45th President of the United — the united, not divided — States of America, I have worked hard, remember that, I have worked tremendously hard to make the lives of all Americans — all creeds, colors and backgrounds — safe, secure and most of all, make them great. Make them great. Made them great. Make America great again.
I kept my pledge to increase jobs — and I did that, I did that. Ford, Carrier, good deals. Many jobs. Softbank, Foxconn — American jobs. American. American.
I kept my pledge to repeal and replace the disaster known as Obamacare — didn’t work out but I did all I could, all I could. I could have done more, but, you know, I didn’t get the help I needed, didn’t get it but we’ll see, we will see what the future holds for Obamacare, which is a disaster as I’ve always said, just watch it implode and then we’ll get great healthcare but I can tell you I don’t know who will give it to you.
I kept my pledge to build a wall against hate, intolerance and the terrible scourge of illegal drugs, crime — just look at Chicago, look at Houston, and you know what I mean — and radical terrorism streaming across our border. You all know that. You all know. The funding is there to build a big, beautiful wall that our southern border desperately needs — the governor of I think it was Nevada called me just last night praying for me to build it and I said, I’m sorry, don’t you watch the news? He’s too busy watching his state be overrun by criminal gangs to watch what Washington is doing to this country but let’s see if Congress will actually use that money for — because there are so many in Congress who are very weak on the border, very weak, and very weak on many other things too.
I kept my pledge to overhaul our very broken election system and it is very, very broken folks, let me tell you, so that the voice of the people, which I came to honor, can be heard in Washington. But we’ll see if this country, which is so beautiful and has so much potential, will ever have free elections again. If a Democrat ever becomes president again or vice-president or whatever, you’ll know, you’ll know. It’s very sad, folks. It’s very sad.
I kept my pledge that all Americans could uphold their duty to country, to God and most of all, to themselves and their communities and their loved ones because — you know, it’s too bad we didn’t make it to Christmas because it would have been safe again to say “Merry Christmas” but I don’t know, I don’t know.
We will never realize the potential of this great nation of ours until we can put the past divisions behind us and come together as Americans. We’re all Americans and we’ve got to come together. There’s a lot wrong on both sides and frankly, I would have got a lot more done if weren’t for many, many members of the Republican party — and all of the Democrats, frankly, because all they did was obstruct which was very sad, very sad — but there was so much disloyalty on the part of the Republican party that it was very, very difficult to get anything done. I’d be very, very mad if I were you and I think I speak for the people — it’s what I was elected to do, speak to and speak for the American people and give power back to the people. Witch hunts that are a waste of time did nobody any good and had no cause. It’s unbelievable, I can tell you that! I can tell you that. But it’s also very sad. It’s very sad.
We must instead look forward to brighter days and happier tomorrows — and we’ll all be very happy tomorrow, I am sure of that — by returning to the lives that we love and working hard — I’ll be working hard, believe me — to make them even greater than they were before.
We built a movement to make America great again. We worked very, very hard, tremendously hard and it wasn’t bought with big lobbying money or dirty tricks or by colluding with Russia or Ukraine or whoever, as my opponent Crooked Hillary did — I still call her Crooked Hillary because what was done to me has never been done to any sitting president in history ever. It was disgusting, the things printed about me by the fake news and by CNN which I am now calling the Swamp News or the Fake Cesspool News, I haven’t made up my mind yet. But she’s still Crooked Hillary and I can tell you, she’ll never change. People never change, especially the crooked people. Some good people change and become crooked and to them I usually say, ‘you’re fired’ and believe me I would have liked to say it to quite a few people in Congress and the lying fake news and even, you’d be surprised, my cabinet but — it’s very hard. It’s an honor but it’s also very, very hard. But we’ll see what will happen to them. It will be very interesting, I can tell you.
To live up to all we can be is the duty of every American so I hope you will continue the movement I created and carry on with me as I resign the presidency effective immediately. Thank you. Good bye.
