Layla Noir: Chapter 8
“So… we’re fucking stuck here? Then why did you even chase me down and fucking freeze me? And you were gonna kill me, too, asshole!” I was not taking the news of our predicament well. He noticed.
“Yes”, he finally answered after a moment, “I believe now is the time for a show of trust. My name is hard to translate into your language. The Straight and Narrow called me The Wizard. You may use this name as well. Now, you have a weapon, and I have more weapons than I appear to, most of which could kill you instantly. If I unfreeze you, can we agree to a treaty of peace, at least until we can figure out a way to get one or both of us home?”
“If you promise to never do this to me again… yes. I don’t like this shit but as you said before, we are stuck with each other. May as well make the best of it! I promise not to hurt you unless you threaten my safety. Is that fair?”
“Yes”. And with that, I fell to the ground. I managed to catch myself relatively well but my muscles felt weird, all rubbery and tired. I wasn’t exactly happy but at least I could move again.
“OK”, I sighed, after a few moments of massaging my weak self, “so what’s the next move?”
*knock knock*, “Room service!”
A cute, definitely female voice interrupted this attempt at planning. God, this shit still pisses me off… but I’m getting ahead of myself. We looked at each other, Mr. Wizard and I, and I whispered, “room service… in a sketchy motel? When I haven’t even asked for anything? Bullshit. Stay quiet”. We did. After a little while, we heard footsteps walking away. I didn’t know what to make of this, and neither did he.
“Do you think that was a threat, uh, Wizard? Can I just call you Wiz? By the way, I guess you know already from your invasion of my mind, but you can call me Mick, or Duke, up to you”.
“OK, Mick”, he said, “Wiz is fine, I guess. Why?”
“Uhmmm… did you know that your title has very racist origins? Like… it directly links back to some, I mean, some truly awful shit? I’m not really comfortable using that title given where it came from…”
“I was not aware, no, nor do I really care. I am against your entire race anyway, as you may have noticed from my tirade from earlier. You are my one exception. I researched wizards after their suggestion and it seems fitting. I can do what you would call magic. As for the room service, I have the feeling that it bodes ill. For now, we should return to planning” was his response.
“Naw man, for NOW, I need some damn food. And bandages, and weed if possible. My face is fucking killing me, and I’m starving!” I hadn’t thought about my stomach in a while, but we had been talking for a very long time and I hasn’t eaten much recently, just a quick snack from a 7/11 on my way to get the whip.
“Ah yes, your face. I thought I saw inner fluids soaked into that scarf. I assume my zealots injured you? Here, let me take a look…” The Wizard approached me, and began to peel off the bandages. I was chill about it cus… well, to be quite honest I was still half convinced that I had just completely lost my mind. If he could take my pain away, whether or not it was real in the first place, I would be cool with that. The last bit of messy wrapping was stuck to me, so that hurt like hell as he took it off, but then he rummaged around in the backpack that he was wearing and got out a small piece of alien technology that looked a little bit like one of those scanner things they use to check the price of stuff at a grocery store, you know, those little radar guns or whatever? Except this thing made a loud, high-pitched whine, emitted green light, and gave me back my fucking nose! Or, so I thought at first, until he said,
“I have not returned your olfactory device to you, but I have created a facsimile of it. As long as this machine remains near you, you will have your appendage back. If it breaks or moves too far from you, it will cease to mimic and render your organic matter and you will return to your injury, although it will be sealed and somewhat healed. This is the best that I can do for a complete loss of a body part” said The Wizard, or Alien, or whatever. I was less grateful than I had been a moment before but still pretty happy.
“Shit man… thanks. That feels great. I still need some food though. Are you hungry? I have cash in my bugout bag, I can get you something… or wait, do you have money? Gangs make money, right?”
“Yes. Here’s a ‘c-note’, is this enough?” My eyes boggled a bit at the wad of hundreds he was peeling one from, but I kept my mouth shut for the moment about that and just nodded, taking it from him.
“I’ll be back in a few”, I finally managed to say, and left. It was a beautiful day! The sun’s rays made the puddles of urine and motor oil in the parking lot glisten like magic pools, the whispy clouds in the sky twisted and morphed in the wind, and the slight breeze kept the scent of homeless human flesh and first world garbage and excess to a minimum. On my way to the Walmart, a very attractive girl approached me. Now, I won’t say that this was unusual for me… well, ok, it was, but anyway, I was a bit surprised but figured that I could spare a moment to chat. Yes, I know, fucking stupid. I’m in the middle of some multi-universe adventure and I’m thinking about getting laid. Sue me. Her and I talked for a bit and she seemed eager to get me alone somewhere. Now, normally this would have set off all my alarms, but as you might expect, I wasn’t thinking straight. She was so fucking hot, like I can’t even explain… not that YOU would understand, or care, but if anyone else ever hears this… I dunno, I’m not as stupid as I seem ok? She was a fucking bombshell… almost literally. But anyway, she dragged me into a nearby alleyway, all lips and pleas for some companionship that she said she had been desperately missing for a while, and right when my alarms were finally starting to jingle, she hit me. No, not a slap for getting fresh, not a pithy punch to the chest, naw, she fucking CLOCKED me. That one punch knocked me flat on the ground, and she immediately leapt on top of me. Thankfully, while my human brain was obviously out to lunch, my monkey brain was on the job. She found a trench knife in her gut when she arrived, not that it stopped her from landing a few blows, but twisting it was enough to get her to roll off me. We stood there, motionless, both in some form of combat crouch, staring at each other. My stance was military, her’s seemed almost predatory. She clutched her belly with one hand but did not seem as discouraged as I had hoped she would be. I figured I should try diplomacy, since I was not in any mood or condition for a difficult fight…
“Yeo uh…what the fuck? What did I do to you, why are you attacking me? Are you insane or…?”… OK, so maybe diplomacy isn’t one of my strong suits, but at least I tried. Her response displayed the futility of my attempt, as she practically screamed,
“WHERE IS THE TECHNOLOGY?!? Your story ends soon, this I promise, but I will make that end painless if you prove some worth! Show me… where is the one some call The Wizard? You smell of him!!! Where?!”
Her voice had been rising in pitch as she spoke and the last question was barely audible, as close to an animal screech as it was. Alien, in fact, was the word that came to mind at the time to describe her voice. Figures. I was stunned, although I think she mistook that for defiant, and that is when I really started to get scared: she looked at me, stared me dead in the eyes, and then she began to screech again in that same high pitched whine. This time, it was just wordless rage, and her jaw unhinged itself like a snake’s, leaving me staring into a maw, not a mouth. She stretched even further as she screamed, her cheeks splitting open like some repulsive flower, and she charged at me, flailing her arms. She was moving at superhuman speeds, I didn’t have time to react, and… well, I mean I’m talking to you now. Kinda ruins the suspense, right? But at the time, I thought I was dead. I instinctively closed my eyes at the last instant, expecting a sudden and sharp pain in some or all of my major organs, but instead I heard a disgusting noise, somewhere between a “plorp” and a “fshwrghh”, I guess? I also got rather wet.
I opened my eyes to a horrific tableau: whatever she had been was splattered everywhere! In fact, by standing close to a wall just before she popped, I had inadvertently created a silhouette of myself on the wall behind me in the negative space that was surrounded by alien guts. I had survived! I felt like a million bucks, I felt like an artist, I felt like throwing up.
“I suspected as much”, said Wiz, dryly, “that was not room service. That was not a human woman. We are being hunted; that was reconnaissance for the hunting party. We are in trouble”
“Yeah, no shit, Wiz”.
Author’s Note: Confused? Find chapter 7 of this sci-fi noir novel that I am writing and releasing live, at least one chapter every two weeks, right here. Enjoy! I really am excited for people to read upcoming chapters and I hope to hear back from people soon :) Leave a comment if you have anything to say about this story so far, where you think it is going, where you want it to go… whatever you like. Thank you for reading!
