Breaking the Chain: Through the eyes of 4:44
“I’m so glad I have Sprint!” I have only spoken this phrase aloud once. The occasion for this paradoxical statement was Jay-Z thirteenth studio album, 4:44. After I set my reminder to cancel Tidal in 6 months (Sorry Mr. Carter! I’ll grab the physical copy!) I opened the app and went through a self made mix of Jay-Z classics to get ready. When midnight came I refreshed the homepage and pressed play not knowing what to expect. I tried my best to only bring my excitement to the first listen of this project. What I was left with was more than I knew I needed.
A lot of times, we as fans look at mega stars like Jay as above reproach. For most of Jay-Z’s career he held a God like stature in my eyes as well. It wasn’t until Jay-Z dropped Kingdom Come that I began to see his rap mortality. That album signified the end of the hyper aware, slick talking, drug dealer from the Bronx and ushered in the black Warren Buffet flow. Jay had began to dabble in the finer things. We all collectively watched him inching away from street parables like “A Week Ago” towards the Bondish opulence of “Show Me What You Got”. While those lessons and experiences never fully left the music the shift was apparent. 4:44 is Shawn Carter’s inaugural flight. Kingdom Come was the plane faltering on the runway.
The biggest difference between Jay-Z’s previous albums and 4:44 is the naked honesty and vulnerability. Jay has been pitching black excellence rhymes for quite a while now so I fully expected joints like “The Story of OJ” and “Family Fued” on the album. The addition of songs like “Kill Jay-Z” and “4:44" are what make the album truly dynamic. Jay has touched on personal relationship matters before on tracks like “Song Cry” and “This Can’t Be Life” but those songs are still framed as larger than life Jay presiding over a situation he has some level of peace with or control over. From the outset of “Kill Jay-Z” we meet an exasperated man finally coming to grips with his past transgressions he has tried to ignore. Shawn Carter is taking the first step to reconciliation, admitting there is a problem.
I had always stayed cautiously silent on the “Men are trash” twitter movement. I didn’t understand it and didn’t want to be a jackass speaking on it. I bit my lip until it bled to avoid screaming out “Not ALL men!” while wildly defending my own honor. I am glad I held back. After seeing the responses to the title track “4:44", the sentiment became clearer. Shawn Carter the man stripped himself bare on the track, atoning for everything from ménage trois to stillborns. He waxed about wanting to go back in time to provide more emotional support in the early stage of his relationship. To close out he spit perhaps the most gut wrenching bars on the album: his fears of tarnishing the innocence of his kids. All that withstanding, the main sentiment I saw was that if Beyoncé could be cheated on then “regular” women should expect the same from their men. Lost was the personal anguish of a man who almost lost it all. A man working to heal himself emotionally was an affirmation of harmful behaviors. Those folks miss the key theme of this album, breaking the chain.
I can relate to Jay-Z’s yearning to break the chain. My father was a womanizing college basketball star before he became federal inmate for five years after being arrested for moving narcotics. My mother never took me to see him when I was younger. I think she was more afraid of facing him than I was. He caused my mother great stress and warped her view of the world and me. I can still remember my mother’s constant reminders to “Not be a hoe”. I also witnessed the anger and fear in her voice when she would say “You’re gonna be just like your Daddy”. Those things shaped me in a way I never fully understood. By seeing that pain up close and personal I never wanted to become the type of person who could inflict that type of damage. To me Jay’s album is the apology my mother deserved, but never received.
I haven’t had the desire to speak to the man who damaged my mother’s psyche in this way, in some time. My life’s goal has been to be different than him in every way possible. That is what makes this project so special to me. This project is Jay-Z reflecting on past missteps no matter how ugly they were and making a vow to be better than his predecessor.
