Woe for farmers everywhere.
As new craze ruins their crop.
FARMERS ALL ACROSS THE COUNTRY are suffering terrible woe, and fearing crippling dept, as a new craze of running through fields of wheat has swept the nation. The craze has seemingly sprung into life since the revelation that the prime minister, and nonstop trendsetter, Theresa May did indeed run through wheat fields as a child.
Hannah Harding, a 20y/o fine art student who is currently on bale for ruining half a years crop, had this to say; “I just had to do it. I felt so great and free, not to mention naughty.” Joe Slough, a drug dealer from Peterborough said; “It’s probably the naughtiest thing I’ve ever done, and I once shanked a guy!”
Yes, the trend is indeed gaining speed, and although many farmers are wondering how they’re going to pay their bills and make a living, the PM herself is treating the craze as a good thing. She commented; “Some people think I’m a terrible bore, that I aren’t ‘down with the kids’. They said I didn’t appeal to the youth, well look at me now!” not quite realising what a nightmare she has created.
It would also appear that running though the fields of wheat isn’t the only trend to stem from the prime minister. All across the nation young women and young men alike have been witnessed having their hair cut into the style of a Victorian chimney sweep. Matt Twatt, a 24y/o gym instructor from Bradford had this to say; “I love the cut. Theresa May’s style is really great, because it’s shit, but it like, catches the eye. It’s really hard to find a cut that shouts boring as balls but at the same time is disturbingly intriguing.”
There are also reports of people giving away ludicrous amounts of money to people they can’t stand, simply to stay relevant.
More as it comes in.