Part 1: How healing our past selves elevates our being.
A piece for all of us (a free-write after meditation). -J
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I am going to assume that if you found this little blog, you have been on a spiritual journey for some time (or some space; considering length is not as relevant as intensity/density). That said, I am sure the concept of the higher-self, or as I like to refer it to, the “YOU,” is familiar. The triad that makes us up includes the self (the soul), the higher-self (higher-dimension form of you/soul), and the over-self (sometimes referred to as the over-soul). This triad works in tandem in order to achieve our way back to source (or heaven; real heaven). Anyway, I am sure you understand the concept of this triad.
Now, in order for us, the soul, to elevate and evolve, the basic gist is for us to integrate with our higher-self. Our whole purpose during the hundreds or thousands of lifetimes on Earth is to forget what we are, experience the experience of that forgetfulness, and then find our way back to what we are. After we finally awaken to our true selves, we must start to work towards integration. That integration is what leads us beyond the 3rd dimension and provides the foundation for ascension.
The integration cannot begin before the purge occurs. This is the dark night of the soul, where the worst of you is realized, and you begin doing the emotional work of healing. After the dark night of the soul, usually follows some form of further awakening to your true power where you feel elated, and then back to misery once the notion that everything that has ever happened to you is solely because of you. Finally, you grasp the idea that if you can bring the bad, you can alleviate the bad, and bring the good.
Seems simple in words, but as you and I both know, it’s a nightmare. It's also empowering. And, like everything else in this lovely existence, the process is the perfect chef’s kiss of a paradox. After all, the paradox is what we are after (to mesh the dark with the light or to integrate you with the YOU). Caveat — It is not lost on me that the infinity symbol is a twisted zero #paradox
Consider this:
The memories you withhold are actually shards of you, and they are in desperate need of your love.
All of the sadness, all of the depression, all the heartache, all of those times you felt completely alone. The echoes of past mistakes, the past failures, all of that hurt and pain as a child, as a teen, as an adult, yesterday’s breakdown. All of those pretty yet sad instances of yourself still exist in some crystal of time. The shards of you, still exist. They are still fighting the demons you fought, they are still on their own.
Not only can you heal them and alleviate them of their current pain, but you must, and it is only you who can. That is what healing really is. Healing is you going back to those memories, those instances, those frames in time and loving yourself thoroughly and fully. Those shards of us are on their own, they are scared, and they feel lost. Love defies time and space, and if we send them our love, those versions of us will feel it. That scenario, where we once felt our weakest, is now laced with the pure love of a future self. You.
You are the higher-self to you. And although we cannot perceive in the way YOU (again, higher-self) can, it is the same thing. Your higher-self has been working towards getting you back to the YOU, and you have been working toward helping the you’s back to you.
We are simply infinite shards of glass looking to get back to the whole. No matter which way we slice it, the journey is all the same on the way up. Each part of us is responsible for the lower-selves (this is not to say these selves are worse or better, this is never the case). If we want to ascend, if we want to feel the love we deserve, if we want the most real sense of happiness, we need to start by picking up the pieces. We need to start seeing the past as little versions of ourselves stuck in situations we put ourselves in, to come to this very moment. Right here, right now. And all we have to do, is make sure those little versions of us know we love them with everything we have.
Integration starts with us. Only you can love those selves, and they only seek love from you.
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We have experienced more than enough of how horrible we could be to each other. So, at this point of our Soul/Earth evolution, there is one rule that I would like to impart: be kind to yourself, everyone, and everything. And maybe skip the judgment, especially the self-judgment. -J
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*Writer’s notes (new addition)-
It is apparent to me that everything I have written and put out to the public echoes ideas of self-judgment. It showcases, clearly, the largest obstacle/hurdle in my own journey. As a psychologist, it’s well documented that what we speak of, write about, and internalize the most are simply just reflections on how we feel about ourselves. How we view others, most importantly, is simply a reflection of what we see in ourselves.
We are shards of reflective glass.
Recognizing what we hone during our daily interactions is also our largest life teaching. And I want to welcome you to a very public viewing of one of my largest life teachings, self-judgment. This, in real-time (I publish these works 10 minutes after I finish writing them) is a self-realization. An in-my-face recognition of not only how thoroughly terrible I have treated and thought of myself these last 30+ years, but also, the immense progress I have made since being that little boy hiding under a bed, to the overgrown kid in a foreign land with his finger on the trigger, to the man writing these words.
Vulnerability is beautiful. But even more gorgeous, is the detaching of negative thoughts to those thousands of instances where you did not know the power you really have, nor the light-being you truly are. After all, all of those situations were meant to bring you right here and could not have happened in any other way. They need you to love them, and they need you to hear it.
You’re perfect.
