Tell Me About Yourself…
It’s Spring, a time of renewal, and a time to get honest about what you really want. In just about every first date situation, you’ll be asked the question, “How would you describe yourself?” or instructed to “Tell me about yourself!” While this is something that should be expected and thought through, many novice daters and other singles overlook the importance of this opportunity and don’t take the time to prepare meaningful answers.
The best advice I can give is to describe yourself in an honest, authentic manner. Talk about what you value — not just the superficial activities that make up the busyness of your life. For example: “I am . . .
1. “Someone who is consistently growing. I invest the time to continue learning and improving myself.”
People who are growth-oriented are attracted to like-minded people. If you can communicate that you set goals for yourself and you want someone special to celebrate your achievements with — “like attracts like,” as the saying goes!
2. “Someone who thinks positively. I’m an optimistic person with an unwavering resolve and I am determined to have a successful relationship.”
Everyone knows there will be challenges in relationships, but if you can let your date know that it’s your style to meet those challenges head-on rather than sweep them under the rug and hope they go away, that’s impressive stuff.
3. “Someone who takes responsibility for my actions and when things go wrong, I don’t look to place blame, but rather I’m someone who looks at how I can improve the next time around.”
Everyone has a past; everyone has a story. In general, people appreciate it if you can own your part in what went wrong in the last relationship and demonstrate growth and a commitment to doing things better next time. Pointing fingers is a big turn-off.
4. “Someone who is mature and who has integrity.”
Sometimes you have to put aside personal interests or personal gain for the well-being of the relationship. If you have a personal story that illustrates how and when you did just that, tell it!
The wonderful thing about answers like the ones above is they enhance your appeal — to someone who is wired the same way. If you have great expectations for a relationship, then answering “Tell me about yourself” with insightful answers can lead to a fruitful crossroad. They wouldn’t be appealing, for example, to someone who is looking for a “friends with benefits” or “one-night stand” scenario or to someone who is less relationship-ready. And if that’s not what you want, weeding those people out with answers like the ones above serves your purpose well.
Think back to the last time you were asked the how-would-you-describe-yourself question on a date (or online). How did you answer? How will you answer next time? Take a few minutes to write it out and you’ll be a lot more likely to spit it out in that getting-to-know-you moment.
