I appreciate you for coming forward and sharing pieces of your story. I was abused 25 years ago and, similar to you, it seems, was raised in a community where sex was filthy. So, I did what made sense and suppressed the perpetration.
As a matter of fact, I suppressed it so well that I didn’t even remember it until I was doing some unrelated work with a men’s group to which I belong (talk about a stretch there!). It turned my world upside down. I questioned every relationship, every choice, ever made.
I, fortunately, found a tremendous therapist who has been the picture of support and love. He, himself, is a survivor and understands, without judgment.
I hope to have the strength to tell my story. Some day.