Oh, the people you’ll see…

These Starbucks tales never cease to amuse me: peppy, meh-looking girl trots in and sits at my table without asking first…a bit of readjusting on my end and I zone her out. At that critical juncture of calm, a group of gorgeous and extremely tall athletes stroll in, obviously from abroad as they are clearly speaking German. 
Girl asks (quite boldly I must say) if they are from Spain…they stare blankly at her. She repeats her question in Spanglish: “Tu es from Es-Spain?”. I slowly take out one ear bud, not quite believing that this is transpiring. Again, blank stares and a scoff from one. Another valiant effort from Dumb-As-Nails girl: “Tu es play golf?”. My other ear bud comes out. …. “Nien…” responds one after an agonizing full minute of silence. She giggles (ok wallop snorts) “Cuanto tiempo play golf? Soy play dos years!” My gaze met theirs, and with full eye contact, I slid my finger ever-so-slowly across my throat and gestured to her, hoping that they would get the hint and leave. As I write this, they are still staring blankly around and she is still barking Spanglish to them.