Chapter Two: I Got One
“I got one” Mary whispered to the girls around the desk.
Belinda and Jules looked at her like she had just farted in their mouths. What the hell was she talking about?
“I. GOT. ONE.” Mary widened her eyes in hopes that her stare would clear the clouds in their heads and so they’d know what she was talking about.
The clouds cleared for Julie first.
“OH…oh shit…shit …. wait. We don’t have a camera!”
At which time, the clouds cleared instantly for Belinda.
“Crap. Okay..I’ll go up and get it.”
Belinda ran up to her dorm room as Julie and Mary quickly walked over to the one that Mary “got.” He was a sorta-cute guy, in a white shirt, khaki shorts, dark hair with way too much product in it and shifty eyes. Julie didn’t know if she actually wanted to keep THIS “one.”
“So you’re cool, you’re down to do it for us?” Mary whispered under her breath.
He smiled like this was a question he answers every day for the ladies, “Oh course, what’s the big deal? You girls want to see it, who am I not to show it?” He leaned back against the wall with satisfaction and pride like he had just wrote a poem worthy of being in a Shakespeare play.
Mary looked around for a place and saw the equipment closet in the back of the room which was luckily, also the emptiest part of the room. As the other students continued working on their finals project, the three of them quickly bee lined it to the equipment room just as Belinda ran in with the ever-so-important camera.
“…the camera?” Julie finished.
Belinda nodded and looked at the guy Mary had found. THIS guy? Belinda asked with a crinkle in her forehead and a sneer in her lip.
Yeah Julie answered back with an eye roll and nod.
Oh well, let’s do this Belinda shrugged. They ended their wordless conversations and packed into the equipment room before anyone else in the work room noticed. He was sitting on a small work bench in front of them, legs splayed out, ready to dazzle the ladies with the studliness in his pants. The camera was turned on and sorta cute, but getting decidedly annoying guy, whooped out his wiener and started churning his butter…fast…blurringly fast. They all looked at each other and smiled; they got another one for the archives. As he continuously battered his hot dog on a stick, it was obvious to the girls that this was not going to be a full length show. In fact it wasn’t even a half hour sitcom — more like a commercial.
And like a commercial, this one had a typical ending. The eye roll, the low moan and the wreckless twitching and jerking before the complete collapse and meltdown of his entire body. Sorta cute guy caught all the fruit juices of his labor into his hand. Mary began to turn around to look for a towel behind her so she could s“I got one” Mary whispered to the girls around the desk.
Belinda and Jules looked at her like she had just farted in their mouths. What the hell was she talking about?
“I. GOT. ONE.” Mary widened her eyes in hopes that her stare would clear the clouds in their heads and know what she was talking about.
The clouds cleared for Julie first.
“OH…oh shit…wait. We don’t have a camera!”
At which time, the clouds cleared instantly for Belinda.
“Crap. Okay..I’ll go up and get it.”
Belinda ran off as Julie and Mary quickly walked over to the one that Mary “got.” He was a sorta-cute guy in a white shirt, khaki shorts and shifty eyes. Julie didn’t know if she actually wanted to keep this one.”
“So you’re cool, you’re down to do it for us?” Mary whispered under her breath.
He smiled like this was a question he answers every day for the ladies, “Oh course, what’s the big deal? You girls want to see it, who am I not to show it?” He leaned back against the wall in satisfaction and pride like he had just wrote a poem worthy of being in a Shakespeare play.
Mary looked around for a place and saw the equipment closet in the back of the room which was luckily, also the emptiest part of the room. As the other students continued working on their finals project, the three of them quickly bee lined it to the equipment room just as Belinda ran in with the ever-so-important camera.
“…the camera?” Julie finished.
Belinda nodded and looked at the guy Mary had found. THIS guy? Belinda asked with a crinkle in her forehead and a sneer in her lip.
Yeah Julie answered back with an eye roll and nod.
Oh well, let’s do this Belinda shrugged. They ended their wordless conversations and packed into the equipment room. He was sitting on a small work bench in front of them, legs splayed out, ready to dazzle the ladies with the studly-ness in his pants. The camera was turned on and sorta cute, but getting decidedly annoying guy, whooped out his wiener and started churning his butter…fast…blurringly fast. They all looked at each other and smiled; they got another one for the archives. As he continuously battered his hot dog on a stick, it was obvious to the girls that this was not going to be a full length show. In fact it wasn’t even a half hour sitcom — more like a commercial.
And like a commercial, this one had a typical ending. The eye roll, the low moan and the wreckless twitching and jerking before the complete collapse and meltdown of his entire body. Sorta cute guy caught all the fruit juices of his labor into his hand. Mary started to turn around behind her to look for a towel to give him when she realized — his performance wasn’t done.
They watched in horror as his hand began to rise.
They all knew where it was going and what he was going to do the closer his cupped hand reached his mouth.
Time slowed down to a crawl as if their brains couldn't accept the reality of what was happening in front of them and was trying desperately to stop time.
His hand reached his mouth and suddenly, Mary finding a towel was unnecessary.
Belinda, who, out of all the girls, was least likely to have nothing to say, finally had nothing to say. It was kind of hard for her to come up with a clever quip just then as her jaw seemed to have dislodged itself and fallen on the floor.
Julie, not knowing what to do, inexplicably bent down and untied then tied her shoelaces, desperate to find something else for her eyeballs to look at and avoid burning her retinas on the glaringly disgusting, not to mention unhygienic, scene that was unfolded before them. .
In a surprising turn of events, Mary was the first one to utter a sound, which was a polite, “ooh..um. Oh yeah. Baby.” which she said not only to cover up the fact that they could barely keep their dinner and boba drinks from coming back up, but, even in the midst of such a life changing, eye gouging event — Mary was still a polite girl from Texas, who didn’t want to hurt his feelings..
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