The Power Of Being Disliked
How Being Disliked Can Actually Help You achieve Your Goals Faster.
If you stand for nothing you will fall for everything. This profound proverb plays on the mind for a long time once one has heard it. We all have that one friend or family member who we would bend over backwards for, it is not a crime and there is no shame in going to the ends of the earth for someone you care deeply about. The problem occurs when this desire to satisfy and to please is not extended to just one person, but to everyone or anyone who needs something. It is not possible to please everyone. One must face the facts, not everyone can be pleased and not everyone can be satisfied. With this in mind, it would be foolhardy to live your life to please others. Once you have come to the realization that this is not possible, you will start saying no and drawing lines. This will definitely cost you some friendships and a lifetime of dislikes from selfish individuals who think the world revolves around them. The key to living a full comfortable life is accepting the fact that not everyone is going to like you and this can have its merits. Let’s consider some reasons you shouldn’t lose sleep over the people you can’t please.
- Accomplishing goals and achievements:
Sometimes we are so focused on trying to make people like us that we forget about our own goals and things we wish to accomplish. Sometimes we give up on the thing we want the most to make someone else happy or to give someone something they need. Giving up on the desire to make people like us may be the key to unlocking great potential within ourselves.
When we focus on whether a person likes or dislikes us it can be unsettling, we feel nervous and bothered whenever the person is present. Even the mere thought of running into the person or persons gives us hot flashes and make us so nervous that we nearly pass out. Once we get over what they think of us, we can relax. We don’t feel pressure to please them so we can breathe easier and more comfortably.
Accepting that not everyone is going to like you leads you to a greater height of self-acceptance, you no longer complain about what you look like because someone has a problem with it and you will surely not look in the mirror and wonder if you will be accepted. Instead, you are confident that you will be. At this point whether someone likes you or not matters less, and you start loving yourself more, just the way you are. You will become more comfortable in your own skin. This has great emotional benefits.
- Less regrets
Once you start getting comfortable not being liked by everyone, you will do more things because you want to. As such, you will not have the regret of doing something just because you were trying to please someone or be accepted by a particular group. When you do things because you want to, you are less likely to regret making that move. At least, the cause of the regret won’t be someone’s ingratitude or the way you inconvenienced yourself. Many times we buy expensive clothes, go to expensive places and live outside of our budget just to fit in or to please someone and when all the dust settles we regret taking such actions with all our heart. The feeling of regret is even greater when we acknowledge the real purpose for doing it or for making the choice we made.
- You may become more adventurous
Everyone loves spice and variety in their life but out of fear of what people will think we remain the same. At times, we are afraid to venture out and do something new from fear that someone in our circle might not like us. When you become comfortable not being liked, you can throw that extreme caution to the wind and take on great adventures without worrying what anyone will think or if they will like us. Who knows, we may very well blaze a trail that they can’t help but follow.
- Freedom of speech
Have you ever had something that you want to say to someone so badly, but for fear they won’t like you, you just don’t say it? Then one day you cannot hold it in anymore and you just have to tell them. Isn’t it great, the feeling you get once you have let this out, this feeling that you held inside for so long? This freedom to speak your mind also comes when you no longer wonder if people will like you after you have spoken, frankly sometimes people need to hear it. Of course, free speech doesn’t mean you go around wielding your truth like a weapon but it will mean that you won’t be afraid to stand up to others when they try to take advantage of you and you won’t be uncomfortable because someone will feel bad if you say something. Not everyone will react the negative way you think they will.
- You will become more honest:
Linked to free speech is honesty. When likes are no longer important to you, honesty will flow more naturally. Not that you will set out to hurt people’s feelings but telling the truth becomes a lot easier when you are not worried whether or not they will like you for it. This is beneficial both to you and others as your conscience will be free and sometimes they deserve to know the truth.
- People will model your behavior:
Once you have broken away from people pleasing ways, others will start noticing the change in you, your happiness and contentment will become more evident, and they will soon want to be like you. So, after a while, they start modelling your behavior and this will help them change. Many people have this same problem of worrying about being liked and some are striving to find a way to break away from it. You can be that guiding light for them. They may appear not to like you for it at first, but trust me secretly, they’re glad you did.
- Renewed strength:
Making people like you is very hard work. It sometimes takes lots of energy out of you but when you no longer worry about this, some of that strength and energy can be renewed and you can save it or focus it on more important things, like making your life better or being more successful in your career.
- What really matters will come into view:
Sometimes we are so focused on being liked we forget what is truly important, we may even forget what is our real purpose on earth. When your focus shifts from being liked to what really matters, what is most important will come into view.
- You will grow:
When you no longer weigh yourself down with the burden of getting others to like you, you will automatically begin to blossom and flourish.
- Happiness will come easier:
Happiness is one of the things humans pursue the most but seem unable to find.Nothing steals happiness away more, than focusing on being liked.Sometimes we try so hard that we forget to even do something simple as smiling. Once you are comfortable with knowing that not everyone will like you, you are sure to be happier as you will focus on the things that make you happy. You will not go out of the way to please others and you definitely won’t be so focused on what they think.
These and other benefits are the reason you should take the leap. Get out of the habit of conforming to the unwritten rules laid down by your circle or even the strangers on the street. Of course, you will care about others feelings and going out of your way to make someone happy (even if you are not friends) isn’t such a bad thing. Remember though that you can’t please everybody and you won’t score points with some people for sucking up. So live your truth in your heart and out loud every day.
Until next time!
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