Tune Out of Other People, to Tune Into Yourself

What are you tuned into? Drama, politics, activism, reality? Who are you tuned into? Friends, family members, partners, celebrities? Your reality is just a projection of your inner awareness, so what are you aware of? Problems, challenges, stress, or global conflict?

Most of us are tuned out of our selves, away from our inner being, that inner Goddess, and tuned into external stimuli. We believe that those people or situations require our attention, and the more we focus on the outside, the further away we are from our inner center.

Being tuned in is 100% a matter of your personal choice. The belief that others are responsible for our tension, that situations are responsible for our stress, implies that other people and situations must change for us to be at peace. But nothing could be further from the truth. The power is 100% within us, and unless we accept 100% responsibility for engineering our reality, we will always be helplessly flailing attempting to adjust ourselves to their realities.

In my world, I am 80% tuned into myself. I wish I could say 99%, but I am working towards that. Having been meditating actively for 8–10 years now, at a certain point I noticed I was tuning out of people and situations that did not serve me, and tuning into myself. That was not only that point when I discovered that inner Goddess I keep talking about, but also the point that I realized how powerful the mind is, and how IT and only our mind, is that key that unlocks all worlds.

Meditation is a great tool that helps our minds disconnect from physical reality, and sharpens our awareness of subtle energies that surround us. We become observers of our own reality that we have projected onto the outer world, and thus, if we don’t like our reality, we are able to change it. Understanding that we alone are responsible for the life we are experiencing is a powerful realization, because now we hold all the power we need to take control of our own experiences. We realize that other people have nothing to do with our displeasure.

Those of us who are attached to people, situations, objects, or realities tend to beat the drum of how unfair, and unjust the world is. They believe the world should be a better place, and that it would be a better place if people only behaved a certain way, or were as moral and ethical as they are. Those of us who are non-attached from people, situations or objects see ourselves as worlds. We believe we must “be the change we wish to see in the world”, and adjust our inner beings to reflect the world we wish to experience. It is not for the world to change, the work is ours.

But on a personal level, our goals may not be as grandiose as world peace. They may be as simple as receiving and attracting pure love, having meaningful and productive work, surrounding ourselves with people who are just as self-aware as we are, living our highest purpose. Well, if you are searching for any of those things, they reside inside you. Want a love that lasts forever? You must forever BE love. Want immense wealth and success? Be that. Want to see world peace? Your inner peace will be projected onto the outer world.

There is a big difference between people who point the finger at their outer world and complain it isn’t good enough, obedient enough, fair enough, or peaceful enough, and people who shut out the extraneous stimuli of the outer world and start working on their own realities and paying attention to their own reflections.

At a certain point on your path, the outer world begins to look comical. It is as if there are all these actors on a global stage, fighting, shouting, struggling, screaming to be heard, and the universe hands them even more of what they are fighting about. Angry people get even more of the situations who make them angry. Activists keep finding more to rally against, as there is always a never ending supply of injustice in this world. The disgruntled will always find themselves with the short end of the stick, and the alone, will always wallow in observation of loneliness.

My project to re-engineer my reality was a long, and sometimes painful one. Nevertheless, I was determined to shift my focus, and create my own reality. I cut off a lot of toxic people, and while that seems like a healthy thing to do, it seems very unjust to those people you are now cutting off. You can only imagine what your toxic parents might say about you choosing to be alone for Christmas when they enjoy enflicting that annual guilt trip every holiday season, about how you are not meeting their expectations. Your friends will insist you are being selfish for letting go of their hand, for tuning out of their dramas, and choosing to walk your own path. As much as I knew I need people, I let go of this idea that I can cure people of their toxicity, and enlighten my friends with my own personal growth. You will never grow people.

But once I started to focus within, and find my own light, I realized that more new, healthier people were now drawn to me. Some of the older friends remained in my life, but it was they who adjusted their attitudes in an attempt to be with me. I made no effort to keep them or instruct them, instead some made the choice to emulate me, while others subconsciously picked up on my energy. Regardless, I was determined to allow whoever was not healthy for me to turn into their own direction with no anger, resentment, or judgement.

Today, I bliss in my inner world. I understand how powerful it is to be able to create life exactly as I want it to be. My world is full of happy, energetic, positive, loving people for whom there is no lack of anything. The more I watch them succeed, the more I see my own success.

Do I feel guilty I only see my parents three times a year? Nope. Do I miss my old judgemental, lonely, needy, dramatic friends? Nope. Do I resent my past lovers? Nope, in fact I love them more than ever, and truly wish them the best. In this state, there is nothing to be angry about, and nothing to miss, because nothing is missing.

But the new reality I created is a very powerful one, that is still improving and evolving. I now have a new family. I am loved by elders who are my surrogate family, and treat me as if I was their biological child. I now have ecstatic, energetic, positive friends who lift me higher, and prod me to experience more, not remind me how I will crash if I taste too much of the forbidden fruit. My romantic relationships have entered a new reality. Not only do I see countless offers from young, gorgeous men, I experience lovers who absolutely worship me. I created this reality, I earned it, so I absolutely deserve it.

Of course there is more to work on in my inner world. The path never ends and I am always making mistakes and learning from my energetic blunders. There are days when I turn on Facebook and take in someone’s vitriol pointed at all those who are voting for the wrong candidate, or believe in something they find offensive. But I take full responsibility for that slap in the face. In fact, I deserve it. It is not anyone’s responsibility to change their attitude, behave better or respect me more. Situations like that happen when I have tuned away from myself, and tuned into the external world.

S