When the Internet goes down — 9 of 31
Or “I might as well call it a day.”
INSERT CLEVER/APPLICABLE GRAPHIC HERE
I’m a patron of Ninja Writers and this is day seven of the May Medium Post-a-Day Challenge of blogging for 30 consecutive days.
I wrote a bunch already but linking is a pain right now, so no.
Do you know how long the above took to do on my slowly failing iPhone 6+? (August, come on, dude)
I took a nap in between the frustration. To be fair, my dog is on sleeping on top of me.
God damn adorable.
But, the nap got me thinking: What if the Internet went down and never came back?
I mean, what would YOU do?
I literally could not do my job without the Internet. I’d be unemployed and out of luck. I suspect most of us would. We’d have to possibly take a Dirty Job, but we couldn’t be smug like all those welders/carpenters/laborers/Real Muricans who Mike Rowe told were better than us entitled office workers.
All the hard work without the perks. Balls.
Hope you memorized all those account #s on your auto pay accounts. Time to invest in some envelopes and stamps. Party like it’s 1959, y’all.
If you don’t have CDs or downloaded copies, you ain’t got no music.
No more online video games. I guess you’ll have to use sexist and racist slurs somewhere else.
You can’t look up how to do anything, so I suggest going to the book store or library. Or God forbid, interact with someone who knows how. DIY is trial and error once again.
If you want to argue with a stranger or distant family member, you now have to actually do it in person or show up to Thanksgiving on time.
Ugggh, no Amazon. Time to blindly buy a product and hope it doesn’t suck. Better keep the receipt, too.
No mobile deposit, so I guess I have to drive to the nearest USAA branch. In DC.
Good thing I have lots of hard copy books. Because no streaming books🙃.
Can you cook? No? No Blue Apron/Hello Fresh/etc.
If you want cat pictures, you have to find one. There’s one that runs around Palace Garden near my house. Promising.
If you wanna…you know…
There are stores for those. No judgment.
“GIMME BACK MY S-, INTERNET.”
-Mel Gibson
